[Illustration:  “That’s right,” says the chairman.]

“Should not what?” inquires Dr. Pearly, who has just sneaked in, knocking three hats to the floor while hanging up his coat.

Dr. Pearly is never answered, for the Chairman looks at his watch and says:  “I’m very sorry, gentlemen, but I have an appointment at 5:45 and must be going.  Supposing I appoint a sub-committee consisting of Dr. Pearly, Mr. Twing and Mr. Berry, to find Mr. Entwhistle and see what he dug out of the files of the Scientific American. Then, at the next meeting we can have a report from both sub-committees and will also hear from Professor McKlicktric, who has just returned from Panama....  A motion to adjourn is now in order.  Do I hear such a motion?”

After listening carefully, he hears it, and the railroads run themselves for another week.

XXI

NOTING AN INCREASE IN BIGAMY

Either more men are marrying more wives than ever before, or they are getting more careless about it.  During the past week bigamy has crowded baseball out of the papers, and while this may be due in part to the fact that it was a cold, rainy week and little baseball could be played, yet there is a tendency to be noted there somewhere.  All those wishing to note a tendency will continue on into the next paragraph.

There is, of course, nothing new in bigamy.  Anyone who goes in for it with the idea of originating a new fad which shall be known by his name, like the daguerreotype or potatoes O’Brien, will have to reckon with the priority claims of several hundred generations of historical characters, most of them wearing brown beards.  Just why beards and bigamy seem to have gone hand in hand through the ages is a matter for the professional humorists to determine.  We certainly haven’t got time to do it here.

But the multiple-marriages unearthed during the past week have a certain homey flavor lacking in some of those which have gone before.  For instance, the man in New Jersey who had two wives living right with him all of the time in the same apartment.  No need for subterfuge here, no deceiving one about the other.  It was just a matter of walking back and forth between the dining-room and the study.  This is, of course, bigamy under ideal conditions.

But in tracing a tendency like this, we must not deal so much with concrete cases as with drifts and curves.  A couple of statistics are also necessary, especially if it is an alarming tendency that is being traced.  The statistics follow, in alphabetical order: 

In the United States during the years 1918-1919 there were 4,956,673 weddings. 2,485,845 of these were church weddings, strongly against the wishes of the bridegrooms concerned.  In these weddings 10,489,392 silver olive-forks were received as gifts.

Starting with these figures as a basis, we turn to the report of the Pennsylvania State Committee on Outdoor Gymnastics for the year beginning January 4th, 1920, and ending a year later.