“That wasn’t the Texas way of scrapping; but, being a very important addendum and annex to the regular army, the San Augustine Rifles had to conform to the red-tape system of getting even.

“By the time we had got out our ‘Upton’s Tactics,’ turned to page fifty-seven, said ‘one—­two—­three—­one—­two—­three’ a couple of times, and got blank cartridges into our Springfields, the Spanish outfit had smiled repeatedly, rolled and lit cigarettes by squads, and walked away contemptuously.

“I went straight to Captain Floyd, and says to him:  ’Sam, I don’t think this war is a straight game.  You know as well as I do that Bob Turner was one of the whitest fellows that ever threw a leg over a saddle, and now these wirepullers in Washington have fixed his clock.  He’s politically and ostensibly dead.  It ain’t fair.  Why should they keep this thing up?  If they want Spain licked, why don’t they turn the San Augustine Rifles and Joe Seely’s ranger company and a car-load of West Texas deputy-sheriffs onto these Spaniards, and let us exonerate them from the face of the earth?  I never did,’ says I, ’care much about fighting by the Lord Chesterfield ring rules.  I’m going to hand in my resignation and go home if anybody else I am personally acquainted with gets hurt in this war.  If you can get somebody in my place, Sam,’ says I, ’I’ll quit the first of next week.  I don’t want to work in an army that don’t give its help a chance.  Never mind my wages,’ says I; ’let the Secretary of the Treasury keep ‘em.’

“‘Well, Ben,’ says the captain to me, ’your allegations and estimations of the tactics of war, government, patriotism, guard-mounting, and democracy are all right.  But I’ve looked into the system of international arbitration and the ethics of justifiable slaughter a little closer, maybe, than you have.  Now, you can hand in your resignation the first of next week if you are so minded.  But if you do,’ says Sam, ’I’ll order a corporal’s guard to take you over by that limestone bluff on the creek and shoot enough lead into you to ballast a submarine air-ship.  I’m captain of this company, and I’ve swore allegiance to the Amalgamated States regardless of sectional, secessional, and Congressional differences.  Have you got any smoking-tobacco?’ winds up Sam.  ’Mine got wet when I swum the creek this morning.’

“The reason I drag all this non ex parte evidence in is because Willie Robbins was standing there listening to us.  I was a second sergeant and he was a private then, but among us Texans and Westerners there never was as much tactics and subordination as there was in the regular army.  We never called our captain anything but ‘Sam’ except when there was a lot of major-generals and admirals around, so as to preserve the discipline.

“And says Willie Robbins to me, in a sharp construction of voice much unbecoming to his light hair and previous record: 

“’You ought to be shot, Ben, for emitting any such sentiments.  A man that won’t fight for his country is worse than a horse-thief.  If I was the cap, I’d put you in the guard-house for thirty days on round steak and tamales.  War,’ says Willie, ’is great and glorious.  I didn’t know you were a coward.’