When it was dark (for I dared not kindle the candles) the King came in again, and as he came in Master Richard spoke my name, and moved his hand towards me on the coverlet.

How Master Richard went to God

Transivimus per ignem et aquam:  et eduxisti nos in refrigerium.

We have passed through fire and water:  and Thou hast brought us out into a refreshment.—­Ps. lxv. 12.

XV

The King presently kissed Master Richard’s hand and asked his pardon and his prayers, saying that he had known nothing of what went forward during those two days, until the crying of Jesus’ name by Master Richard before the cardinal, but blaming his own craven heart, as he called it.

And when Master Richard had spoken awhile, he asked the King to go out, for that he had much to say to me in secret.

So the King went out very softly, and set other guards at the doors, and we two sat there a long while.

* * * * *

I was astonished at Master Richard’s strength and courage, for he had spoken aloud to the King, but when the King was gone out, he spoke in a lower voice, holding my hand.  It was very dark, for he would have no lights, and I could see no more of him but a little of his hair, and the pallour of his face beneath it, until the morn came and the end came.

* * * * *

He told me first of what he had done, and what had been done to him since a week ago, when we had kissed one another at the lych-gate—­all as I have told it to you.  He talked quietly, as I have said, but he laughed a little now and again, and once or twice his voice trembled with tears as he related our Lord’s loving-kindness to him. (I have never known any man who loved Jesu Christ more than this man loved Him.)

I asked him a few questions, and he answered them, but the effect of all that he said was what I have written down here, and sometimes I have his very words as he spoke them.

At last he came to the end of what he had to say, and began to tell me of the Night of the Soul, and here he talked in a very low voice so that I could scarcely hear what he said, and of what he said I did not understand one half, [I am thankful that Sir John recognized his own limitations.] for it was full of mysteries such as other contemplative souls alone would recognise—­for all contemplatives, as you know, relate the same things to one another which they have seen and heard, and the words that each uses the other understands, but other men do not; for they speak of things that they have seen indeed, but for which there are no proper human words, so that they have to do the best that they can.

He told me that the state that I have described to you continued until he came before my lord cardinal, so that although he saw men’s faces and heard their words they were no more to him than shadows and whisperings; for since (as it appeared to him) he had lost God by his own fault there was no longer anything by which he might communicate with man.