“How do I know? Of birds, of flowers, moonshine, or some such rubbish. I was not heeding my words.”
“No, your eyes were too busy! And now, Mr. Brudenell, I repeat my question: Was yours a manly part—discoursing all this love to Nora, and having no ultimate intentions?”
“Hannah, I never questioned my conscience upon that point; I was too happy for such cross-examination.”
“But now the question is forced upon you, Mr. Brudenell, and we must have an answer now and here.”
“Then, Hannah, I will answer truly! I love Nora; and if I were free to marry, I would make her my wife to-morrow; but I am not; therefore I have been wrong, and very wrong, to seek her society. I acted, however, from want of thought, not from want of principle; I hope you will believe that, Hannah.”
“I do believe it, Mr. Brudenell.”
“And now I put myself in your hands, Hannah! Direct me as you think best; I will obey you. What shall I do?”
“See Nora no more; from this day absent yourself from our house.”
He turned pale as death, reeled, and supported himself against the trunk of a friendly tree.
Hannah looked at him, and from the bottom of her heart she pitied him; for she knew what love was—loving Reuben.
“Mr. Brudenell,” she said, “do not take this to heart so much: why should you, indeed, when you know that your fate is in your own hands? You are master of your own destiny, and no man who is so should give way to despondency. The alternative before you is simply this: to cease to visit Nora, or to marry her. To do the first you must sacrifice your love, to do the last you must sacrifice your pride. Now choose between the courses of action! Gratify your love or your pride, as you see fit, and cheerfully pay down the price! This seems to me to be the only manly, the only rational, course.”
“Oh, Hannah, Hannah, you do not understand! you do not!” he cried in a voice full of anguish.
“Yes, I do; I know how hard it would be to you in either case. On the one hand, what a cruel wrench it will give your heart to tear yourself from Nora—”
“Yes, yes; oh, Heaven, yes!”
“And, on the other hand, I know what an awful sacrifice you would make in marrying her—”
“It is not that! Oh, do me justice! I should not think it a sacrifice! She is too good for me! Oh, Hannah, it is not that which hinders!”
“It is the thought of your mother and sisters, perhaps; but surely if they love you, as I am certain they do, and if they see your happiness depends upon this marriage—in time they will yield!”
“It is not my family either, Hannah! Do you think that I would sacrifice my peace—or hers—to the unreasonable pride of my family? No, Hannah, no!”
“Then what is it? What stands in the way of your offering your hand to her to whom you have given your heart?”
“Hannah, I cannot tell you! Oh, Hannah, I feel that I have been very wrong, criminal even! But I acted blindly; you have opened my eyes, and now I see I must visit your house no more; how much it costs me to say this—to do this—you can never know!”