But, sad to say, the husband is not usually good-humouredly willing to acknowledge his partner’s superiority, and in that case the girl’s doom is a cruel one.  She may marry a gross, stupid lout, who begins by yawning away his time in leisure hours, and ends by going out to meet companions of his own sort.  By and by comes the time when the ruffian grows aggressive, and then the proud girl has to bear brutalities which rack her very soul.  Steadily the work of degradation goes on, and at last the brutal man becomes a capricious bully, while the refined lady sinks into a careless draggletail.

I have traversed many lands and seen men and cities, and know that the cruel work which I have described goes on in too many quarters.  The ill-assorted marriage is made more wretched by the occasional glimpses which the man and woman get of happy homes.  The loveliest sight that can be watched on earth is the daily life of a well-matched couple.  They need not be even in intellect, but each must have some quality which gives superiority; such people, even if they have to struggle hard, lead a life which is almost ideally happy.  The great thing which gives happiness is mutual confidence, and, when we see man and wife exhibiting quiet and mutually respectful familiarity, we may be fairly certain that they are to be looked on as most fortunate in the world.  By an exquisite natural law it happens that mentally a woman is the exact complement of the man who is her proper mate, and her intellect has qualities far finer and more subtle than the man’s.  Among hard City men it is a common saying that no one would ever make a bad debt if he took his customer home to dinner first.  That means that the wife would instantly measure the guest’s character with that lightning-footed tact which women possess.  No man ever yet was completely successful in life unless he took women’s counsel in great affairs; and, when a man has a wife with whom he can consult, his chance is bettered a thousandfold.

To see a household where love and unity reign drives ill-matched folk to madness.  The man declares that his friend’s wife makes the felicity; the woman praises the other husband; and the unhappy souls grow jealous together, and hate each other more cordially by reason of the joy which they have seen.  All sorts of evil ends come to these wretched unions—­in every workhouse, asylum, and prison the traces of the social catastrophe may be seen; and, even when the misery is hidden from general view, the tragedy is shocking to those who can peep behind the scenes and look at the bad play.  A very wise man has said that “success is a constitutional trait.”  The phrase is a profound one.  A man who is born with “constitutional” power of choosing the right mate is all but assured of success, and a woman has the same fortune; but, in addition to the power of choosing, both man and woman need training; and we cannot call a civilised being properly trained unless he has some idea of the way to set about his choice.