if I resented his conduct, he would shoot me down on the spot.  This being reported to me by various persons, I went to San Francisco and consulted Judge Bennett as to what course I ought to pursue.  Judge Bennett asked if I were certain that he had made such a threat.  I replied I was.  “Well,” said the Judge, “I will not give you any advice; but if it were my case, I think I should get a shot-gun and stand on the street, and see that I had the first shot.”  I replied that “I could not do that; that I would act only in self-defence.”  He replied, “That would be acting in self-defence.”  When I came to California, I came with all those notions, in respect to acts of violence, which are instilled into New England youth; if a man were rude, I would turn away from him.  But I soon found that men in California were likely to take very great liberties with a person who acted in such a manner, and that the only way to get along was to hold every man responsible, and resent every trespass upon one’s rights.  Though I was not prepared to follow Judge Bennett’s suggestion, I did purchase a pair of revolvers and had a sack-coat made with pockets in which the barrels could lie, and be discharged; and I began to practice firing the pistols from the pockets.  In time I acquired considerable skill, and was able to hit a small object across the street.  An object so large as a man I could have hit without difficulty.  I had come to the conclusion that if I had to give up my independence; if I had to avoid a man because I was afraid he would attack me; if I had to cross the street every time I saw him coming, life itself was not worth having.

Having determined neither to seek him nor to shun him, I asked a friend to carry a message to him, and to make sure that it would reach him, I told different parties what I had sent, and I was confident that they would repeat it to him.  “Tell him from me,” I said, “that I do not want any collision with him; that I desire to avoid all personal difficulties; but that I shall not attempt to avoid him; that I shall not cross the street on his account, nor go a step out of my way for him; that I have heard of his threats, and that if he attacks me or comes at me in a threatening manner I will kill him."[4] I acted on my plan.  I often met him in the streets and in saloons, and whenever I drew near him I dropped my hand into my pocket and cocked my pistols to be ready for any emergency.  People warned me to look out for him; to beware of being taken at a disadvantage; and I was constantly on my guard.  I felt that I was in great danger; but after awhile this sense of danger had a sort of fascination, and I often went to places where he was, to which I would not otherwise have gone.  Whenever I met him I kept my eye on him, and whenever I passed him on the street I turned around and narrowly watched him until he had gone some distance.  I am persuaded if I had taken any other course, I should have been killed.  I do not say Turner would have deliberately shot me down,