replied; I must expect men to have their human frailties, and that men were but men:  and he would have persuaded me to be satisfied, and make further trial.  And as for the orders he spake of, they were mostly about meats and drinks, and about rules for electing of officers to rule the house of God; as I would see in time, if I stayed:  and as to the dirtiness of the house, he confessed, that those to whom the care was committed to keep the house clean, had not been so diligent as they ought to have been; but he hoped, upon admonition, they would be more careful.  To which I returned this answer:  What! dost thou talk of human frailties in the house of God?  That complaint is at large in the world, but doth not become the house of God; into which I have heard none can come, but such as are redeemed from the earth, and are washed from their pollutions; for God saith, all the vessels in my house shall be holy; and they that dwell in the house of God must have pure hearts and clean hands.  And much more I told him of what I had heard and read concerning the house of God.  I also told him plainly, I had let in such a belief of the peace, purity, glory and comeliness of the house of God, that I was persuaded that was none of it; and where to find it, I knew not; but if I never found it whilst I lived, I would never give over seeking, for my desires were after it, and I thought nothing would satisfy me short of the enjoyment of it.  But as for your house here, said I, I have no satisfaction in it; it is not the place I seek for, so I must leave you.  His answer to me was, he was sorry I could not be satisfied there as well as he; but if I could not, he would lay no restraint upon me:  for his part, he had directed me as far as he knew, and he could do no more for me.

[Illustration:  Several in the house threw things after me, in a spiteful manner, but none hurt me.]

After our discourse was ended, I got up, and went out, but knew not where to go.  Several in the house threw things after me, in a spiteful manner, but none hurt me.  So I wandered sometimes north, and sometimes south; and every way that came in my mind.  But whithersoever I went, the anguish of my soul went along with me; which was more than tongue can utter, or pen can declare, or any one can believe, except this relation should meet with some one that hath experienced the same travel; which, if it doth they will understand.  But so it was, I had no comfort night nor day, but still kept going on, whether right or wrong I knew not, nor durst I ask anybody, for fear of being beguiled as before.

Thus I got into a vast howling wilderness, where there seemed to be no way, only now and then I found some men and women’s footsteps, which was some comfort to me in my sorrow; but whether they got out without being devoured by wild beasts, or whither I should go, I knew not.  But in this woeful state I travelled from day to day, casting within myself what I had best to do;—­whether utterly to despair in that condition, or whether I had best to seek some other town or city, to see if I could get some other guide.  The first I saw to be desperate; I also despaired of the last, having been so deceived from time to time; so that all these consultations did but increase the bitterness of my soul.