The following series of “Don’ts” may help you to understand some of the intricacies of the delightful game of whist.  If they do not help you the only thing to do is to try pinochle:—­

Don’t get up and dance a serpentine dance every time you take a trick.  It is in very bad taste, unless you are a good dancer, and even then your opponents may feel deeply chagrined.

Don’t smile sweetly your partner and inform him in a few well-chosen words that you have seven trumps in your hand.  Your opponents may hear you, and scowl darkly at you.

Don’t fail to call the attention of your opponent to the fact that he or she hasn’t followed suit, being very careful to select a loud and resonant tone of voice for the occasion.  This compels your opponent to look carefully through his or her cards and fervently wish that you had sense enough to mind your own business.

Don’t ask what’s trumps more than eighteen times during one hand.  The limit used to be twenty-six times, but the best authorities on whist now say eighteen.

Don’t have a conniption fit every time you lose a trick.  Conniption fits are very bad form, and they delay the game.

Don’t get excited and climb up on the table when the game is close.  It shows a want of refinement and breeding to climb up on the table, especially if you are in a strange house.

Don’t whistle softly while waiting for somebody to play.  Whistling is not in good taste.  Go and perform on the piano.  It has a much better effect, particularly if your selection is something lively, like “El Capitan” or “The Maiden’s Prayer.”

Don’t talk politics while playing whist.  Either whist or politics will suffer if you do.  Statisticians claim that 34,647,932 times out of 34,647,933 it is whist that suffers.

Don’t, when drawing a trick towards you, pause in the act to smile disdainfully upon your opponents.  They may not admire a spectacular arrangement of your features, and if they happen to be in a bad humor your facial expression may be ruined for life.

Don’t labor under the erroneous impression that your opponents have no right to trump your ace if they can.  Neither is it considered elegant or refined to hit them carelessly across the forehead with the bric-a-brac for so doing.

Don’t make an earnest endeavor to split the table asunder when playing a winning card.  People may think you are eccentric if you try to make kindling wood of the table every time you lay down an honor.

Don’t lead the three of clubs in mistake for the ace of trumps, and then get mad and jump seventeen feet in the air because you are not permitted to pull it back.  It isn’t good form to jump seventeen feet in the air.  Besides, you might fall and hurt yourself and the neighborhood.

Don’t hesitate to inquire what was led when there is but one card on the table.  It shows that you are taking a deep interest in the game, and it makes the other players admire your elocutionary powers.