Ann had dark hair but she put peroxide on it to frighten it lighter.  Ann’s hair became angry at the peroxide and got up and left her head.  Why does Ann converse with callers through the speaking tube?

Ann’s friend Mary has seven brothers.  One of them paints sawdust in a delicatessen factory at twelve dollars per.  The other six play the races.  What time does the dinner bell ring and who squares it with the grocer?

Ann has another friend by the name of Ellen.  Ellen’s father has one sitting room and four daughters.  The four daughters are engaged to four nice young gentlemen.  At what time in the evening does papa and mamma crawl out of the dumb waiter and how much is the gas bill?

Ann rode home in the Elevated Rough House at the twilight hour.  Eighty-seven gentlemen were there hiding behind eighty-seven newspapers.  Ann joined a strap and swung to and fro.  How old was Ann when she received a seat?

[Illustration:  “S—­The black Sheep.”]

Some people’s talk is too cheap at any price.

Some men are just like a mule, because they kick at the wrong time.

Some people save up their money for a rainy day and finally decide that a foggy day is a good enough excuse to spend it.

Scandal is the black sheep in the family of Love.

* * * * *

###
 S:  The nineteenth letter of the alphabet, which is called a sibilant,
    because it makes a hissing sound like a goose.
###

[Illustration]

* * * * *

SALOON.  Something which can be opened on credit, but it takes cash to start a church.

SARCASM.  A thirty-dollar Panama hat on a thirty-cent man.

SATAN.  An accommodating chap who picks out cosey-corners in his hot-house for the men that brag about being such devils among the women.

SCEPTIC.  A man who will stop to see if there is a microbe in a kiss.

SEASHORE.  A violent disease which breaks out all over people when the weather gets warm.  The cure costs anywhere from $2 to $15 per day, according to the mood the landlord is in.

SINCERITY.  What our friends think about us when our backs are turned.

SPECULATION.  Paying a nickle for a seat in a street-car and then waiting till you get it.

STUBBORNNESS.  A man who knows he is wrong but believes he is right for personal reasons.

SUCKERS.  The bait used by those who go fishing for compliments.

[Illustration]

SUCCESS.  Failure kicked to pieces by hard work.  A man who can make enough noise when he wins out to drown the voices of the knockers.  Something which can be caught if a man only runs long enough.

SWIFTNESS.  The manner in which a fool and his rich wife’s money are parted.

SYNONYM.  A lazy man trying to win success and a hen trying to lay a corner-stone.