MACARONI.  An excuse for opening an Italian restaurant.

MAP.  That part of the human face which is visible above the collar.

[Illustration]

MARVEL.  A man who never tells you his troubles.

MEDAL.  A gold or silver dingus which you get for doing something you intended to do anyway.

MEDDLER.  The fellow who butts in and says you’re not entitled to a medal.

MISER.  A man who has all the money he wants but wants more.

MONEY.  Something which talks, but a poor man can’t keep it long enough to know what it says.

[Illustration:  1/1000 MICROBE ENLARGED]

MICROBE.  A very small animal that devotes all its energy to moving into the system of an entire stranger.  Once in it begins to do light housekeeping on the aforementioned stranger’s epiglottis. (For the meaning of epiglottis consult the first doctor you meet.  If he doesn’t tell you he’s no gentleman.)

[Illustration:  N ]

No matter how many good things our friends say about us, we are never surprised.

Nothing is so astonishing to us as another man’s success.

Needless to say, a friend in need is a friend in the soup.

Nothing ventured nothing wonderful.

* * * * *

###
 N:  The fourteenth letter of the alphabet, sometimes called a nasal by
    those who ought to know better.
###

* * * * *

NABOB.  A man who can put on a new suit of clothes every fifteen minutes.

NATION.  A large principality ready to go to war at a moment’s notice. 
For example:  Carrie Nation.

NATURE.  Something which makes no mistakes, with the exception of a crowded street car.

NECESSITY.  The mother of many an empty stomach.

[Illustration]

NECK.  A place to get it in.

NEXT.  The battle cry in a barber shop before blood is shed.

NIT.  An abbreviation of Nix.

NIX.  An abbreviation of Nit.

NOPE.  An abbreviation of No!

[Illustration]

NOISE.  The sound of a new suit of clothes on a loud man.

NODDLE.  The place where some people think they think.

NOVEL.  A book that sells better than it reads.

[Illustration:  “O—­A well balanced Head.”]

Of two evils choose the one least likely to be talked about.

Oh, yes, the man with a jag can hold on to the fence, but he can’t hold on to his reputation.

Opportunity is something a Fool waits for while the Wise Guy runs down the road to meet it.

Occasionally we meet men who have to part their hair in the middle in order to have a well-balanced head.

* * * * *

###
 O:  The fifteenth letter of the alphabet, used principally by the Irish
    in front of their names.
###