### K:  The eleventh letter of the alphabet, pronounced K, as in Knuckle. ###

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KEEN.  A grafter with a victim in sight.

KENO.  What the grafter says when he’s through with the victim.

KEEP.  The motto of the Trusts.

KEY.  An instrument used at 2 A.M. in connection with a door to determine whether a man is sober or not.

[Illustration]

KEROSENE.  An ambitious substance used by cooks when they want to go out through the kitchen roof.

KICKER.  A man with a grouch on the inside and a voice on the outside.

KISS.  A sigh set to music.  The oldest monopoly in the world with the exception of John D. Rockerfeller.  A kiss is the soul’s cocktail.  A wireless message from he to she, with a little peaches and cream on the side.

[Illustration]

KNOCKER.  A hurdle in the way of the worthy.  A chin-critic.  An expert with the harpoon.

[Illustration:  “L—­When a man is so lazy that he won’t talk he is called profound.”]

Love laughs at everybody except the girl’s Papa.

Laziness generally attacks every part of a man except his tongue.

Lots of men spend two dollars’ worth of worry over the loss of a quarter.

Look around and you’ll see that the world likes to side with the man who has the cash.

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###
 L:  The twelfth letter of the alphabet, captured some years ago for the
    purpose of describing the Elevated Railroad.
###

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LABOR.  Trying to get back the money you loaned.

[Illustration]

LADY.  A gentleman woman.

LAMB.  A young mutton-head that goes into Wall Street.

LARK.  A bird of a name given to a bird of a time.

LIGHT.  An excuse used by the Gas Company to collect money.

LITERARY FAILURE.  A man whose brain was unfit for publication.

[Illustration]

LOBSTER.  A shine after he gets in the swim.

LOAFER.  A man who believes the world owes him a living and sends another man to collect it.

LOVE.  A certain party who is supposed to be blind, but he doesn’t seem to have much trouble in finding someone to lead him around.

[Illustration:  “M—­One experiment that few are willing to make.”]

Money cannot buy happiness, but most of us are willing to make the experiment.

Many people would take a short walk on the road to ruin if they were sure their friends wouldn’t see them.

Money is the root of much friendship.

Marry in haste and repent in Dakota.

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####
 M:  The thirteenth letter of the alphabet, which very few people use
    because thirteen is unlucky.
####

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