“When I came in paleface said I was next,” said Man-Afraid-Of-A-Shampoo.  “Well, I am next to this business.  You have bay rum and I have a thirst—­let us get together!”

“But the bay rum is used only on the outside of the head,” said the barber.

“I have original ideas about bay rum,” said the Indian, “therefore I have decided to use it on the inside of my neck!”

“But bay rum is five cents extra with a hair cut,” whispered the barber.

It was his last whisper in that shop.

Shouting the battle cry of the Cherokees, the Indian, grabbed the bay rum bottle and poured it carefully over his thirst.

[Illustration]

This was followed by a bottle of hair tonic, which seemed to go to his head.

Then the Indian swallowed a bottle of whisker dye and all seemed to grow black before him.

The barber groaned in agony.

It was thrilling.

When last seen the Indian was drinking a bottle of dry shampoo and foaming at the mouth, while he blessed the White Father at Washington for inventing the barber shop.

That afternoon Sniffles, the barber, and Mike, his under secretary, walked back to Washington and handed in their resignation to the Interior Department.

[Illustration:  “J—­The Tip End of the season.”]

Jolly not that you be not jollied.

Justice is blind for the reason that some lawyers would give her a pain if she could see them.

Journeys end in porter tippings.

Just as you value yourself justly just that much are you valuable.

* * * * *

###
 J:  The tenth letter of the alphabet, used almost exclusively to
    designate a Reub with rubber in the neck—­whatever that may be.
###

[Illustration:  JAY]

* * * * *

JAG.  See gold cure.  If that hasn’t any effect, see an undertaker.

JOCKEY.  A hero or a slob—­it all together depends on where the horse finishes.

JOKE.  Something that’s extremely clever—­when we make it ourselves.

[Illustration.]

JOLLY.  Flattery with a smile on its face.

JOLT.  The thing a man gets who thinks he knows it all.

JOY.  Gladness with the lid off.

JUG.  A place to keep the material before it becomes a jag.

JUDGMENT.  An ability which some men get credit for having when in reality they are merely lucky at guessing things.

JUSTICE.  The name we give it when the verdict is the way we want it.

[Illustration:  “K—­A Small boy can spoil the most favorable circumstance.”]

Kisses go by favorable circumstances.

Kidders are as happy as kids till somebody kids them.

Keep a stiff upper lip—­especially when you’re shaving yourself.

Knockers never have weak lungs.

* * * * *