hardly say he didn’t give you away.  It was things you said—­and Mrs Ranyard.  Anyhow, that last evening, I insisted on having the truth.  But I couldn’t write about it sooner—­for fear of saying things I’d regret afterwards.

“Rose—­what possessed you?  A man worth fifty of me!  Of course, I know loving doesn’t go by merit.  But to keep him on tenterhooks, eating his heart out with jealousy, while you frankly encouraged me—­you know you did.  And I—­never dreaming; only puzzled at the way he sheered off after the first.  Between us, we made his last month of life a torment, though he never let me guess it.  I don’t know how to forgive myself.  And, to be honest, it’s no easy job forgiving you.  If that makes you angry, if you think me a prig, I can’t help it.  If you’d heard him—­all those hours of delirium—­you might understand.

“When he wasn’t raving, he had only one thought—­mustn’t blame you, or hurt you, on account of him.  I’m trying not to.  But if I know you at all, that will hurt more than anything I could say.  And it’s only right I should tell it you.

“My dearest Girl, you can’t think how difficult—­how strange it feels writing to you like this.  I meant to wait till I came up.  But I couldn’t write naturally, and I was afraid you mightn’t understand.

“I’m coming, after all, sooner than I thought, for my fool of a body has given out, and Collins won’t let me hang on, though I feel the work just keeps me going.  It must be Kohat first, because of Paul.  Now things are calming down, he is getting away to be married.  The quietest possible affair, of course; but he’s keen I should be best man in place of Lance.  And I needn’t say how I value the compliment.

“No more trouble here or Amritsar, thank God—­and a few courageous men.  Martial Law arrangements are being carried through to admiration.  The Lahore C.O. seems to get the right side of every one.  He has a gift for the personal touch that is everything out here; and in no time the poor deluded beggars in the City were shouting ‘Martial Law ki jai’ as fervently as ever they shouted for Ghandi and Co.

“One of my fellows said to me:  ’Our people don’t understand this new talk of “Committee Ki Raj” and “Dyarchy Raj.”  Too many orders make confusion.  But they understand “Hukm Ki raj."’[36] In fact, it’s the general opinion that prompt action in the Punjab has fairly well steadied India—­for the present at least.

“Well, I won’t write more.  We’ll meet soon; and I don’t doubt you’ll explain a good deal that still puzzles and hurts me.  If I seem changed, you must make allowances.  I can’t yet see my way in a world empty of Lance.  But we must help each other, Rose—­not pull two ways.  Don’t bother to write long explanations.  Things will be easier face to face.

                                            “Yours ever,
                                                ROY.”