“What a pleasant day.”

“Yes, it is.”

A nurse appeared at the door.

“Turn on number nine hundred and eleven,” said the doctor.

“Very well, sir.”

The doctor turned to the patient.

“I heard a most amusing story the other day,” he said.

“But—­”

“Just a moment.  I am quite sure you will be interested in hearing it,” He told the story.

The patient stirred impatiently in the chair, although the story was amusing and he laughed at it.

“By the way,” he began, looking at his watch.

The doctor got up.  He turned off the switch at his desk.

“It is all right, sir.  You may go now.”

“But I came in to see you about—­”

“Yes, the operation has been performed.  I should be a little bit careful for a few days if I were you.  Don’t play golf or walk excessively.”

“You mean to say that—­”

“Your appendix has been removed in accordance with your symptoms.”

The patient smiled incredulously.

“When did you do it?” he asked.

“While you were sitting there.  Perfectly simple.  It was absorbed.”

“How did you know what was the matter with me?”

“That chair sends a record of your symptoms—­in fact, diagnoses your case completely—­to the laboratory.  All you needed was to have your appendix removed, and by turning on number nine hundred and eleven it was absorbed in three minutes.  Nothing strange, sir.  Quite usual, I assure you.”

The man got up.  His face grew rather pale.  He advanced to the desk.

“How much do I owe you?” he asked.

The doctor smiled again.

“That has all been arranged, sir.”

“What do you mean?”

“According to the new State law which has just gone into effect, while you were being operated on your property was transferred to me.  Good morning, sir.  Call again.”

MR. SUNSHINE AND MR. GLOOM

Changing others over to suit yourself is not always the easiest thing in the world, although it is often tried.  The head of a large firm thought he would try it, and his experience is related by one of the “boys” in the office: 

The old man—­for we always referred to the head of the firm in this way—­called the young fellow in to him one day and said: 

“Look here, young man; you’ve got to be more agreeable.  I want everybody in this place to have a smiling face.  If I didn’t think you had ability I would have fired you long ago.  Your manners are bad.  Make ’em better.  Don’t be a grouch.”

The young chap didn’t seem to take kindly to this advice.  The frown on his face was still there.  But he bowed and said: 

“All right, sir.”

Then the old man—­for it was his busy morning—­called another young fellow in and said: 

“Look here, young man; I don’t want you to be so genial.  You’re always telling funny stories around the place and waiting on the girls.  Your sunny smile is all right, but you carry it too far.  Why, when you come around everybody stops work.  Get down to business.”