my prayer, that was praise
To her malice, with smiles, and advised me to gaze
On the river for love,—­and perchance she would make
In pity a maid without eyes for my sake,
And she left me like Scorn.  Then I ask’d of the wave,
What monster I was, and it trembled and gave
The true shape of my grief, and I turn’d with my face
From all waters forever, and fled through that place,
Till with horror more strong than all magic I pass’d
Its bounds, and the world was before me at last.

There I wander’d in sorrow, and shunned the abodes
Of men, that stood up in the likeness of Gods,
But I saw from afar the warm shine of the sun
On the cities, where man was a million, not one;
And I saw the white smoke of their altars ascending,
That show’d where the hearts of many were blending,
And the wind in my face brought shrill voices that came
From the trumpets that gather’d whole bands in one fame
As a chorus of man,—­and they stream’d from the gates
Like a dusky libation poured out to the Fates. 
But at times there were gentler processions of peace
That I watch’d with my soul in my eyes till their cease,
There were women! there men! but to me a third sex
I saw them all dots—­yet I loved them as specks: 
And oft to assuage a sad yearning of eyes
I stole near the city, but stole covert-wise
Like a wild beast of love, and perchance to be smitten
By some hand that I rather had wept on than bitten! 
Oh, I once had a haunt near a cot where a mother
Daily sat in the shade with her child, and would smother
Its eyelids in kisses, and then in its sleep
Sang dreams in its ear of its manhood, while deep
In a thicket of willows I gazed o’er the brooks
That murmur’d between us and kiss’d them with looks;
But the willows unbosom’d their secret, and never
I return’d to a spot I had startled forever,
Though I oft long’d to know, but could ask it of none,
Was the mother still fair, and how big was her son?

For the haunters of fields they all shunn’d me by flight;
The men in their horror, the women in fright;
None ever remain’d save a child once that sported
Among the wild bluebells, and playfully courted
The breeze; and beside him a speckled snake lay
Tight strangled, because it had hiss’d him away
From the flower at his finger; he rose and drew near
Like a Son of Immortals, one born to no fear,
But with strength of black locks and with eyes azure bright
To grow to large manhood of merciful might. 
He came, with his face of bold wonder, to feel,
The hair of my side, and to lift up my heel,
And question’d my face with wide eyes; but when under
My lids he saw tears,—­for I wept at his wonder,
He stroked me, and utter’d such kindliness then,
That the once love of women, the friendship of men
In past sorrow, no kindness e’er came like a kiss
On my heart in its desolate day such as this!