In the evening our gentleman-farmer, and two others, entertained themselves and the company with a great number of tunes on the fiddle.  Johnson desired to have ‘Let ambition fire thy mind,’ played over again, and appeared to give a patient attention to it; though he owned to me that he was very insensible to the power of musick.  I told him, that it affected me to such a degree, as often to agitate my nerves painfully, producing in my mind alternate sensations of pathetick dejection, so that I was ready to shed tears; and of daring resolution, so that I was inclined to rush into the thickest part of the battle.  ’Sir, (said he,) I should never hear it, if it made me such a fool.’

This evening, while some of the tunes of ordinary composition were played with no great skill, my frame was agitated, and I was conscious of a generous attachment to Dr. Johnson, as my preceptor and friend, mixed with an affectionate regret that he was an old man, whom I should probably lose in a short time.  I thought I could defend him at the point of my sword.  My reverence and affection for him were in full glow.  I said to him, ’My dear Sir, we must meet every year, if you don’t quarrel with me.’  Johnson.  ’Nay, Sir, you are more likely to quarrel with me, than I with you.  My regard for you is greater almost than I have words to express; but I do not choose to be always repeating it; write it down in the first leaf of your pocket-book, and never doubt of it again.’

I talked to him of misery being ‘the doom of man’ in this life, as displayed in his Vanity of Human Wishes.  Yet I observed that things were done upon the supposition of happiness; grand houses were built, fine gardens were made, splendid places of publick amusement were contrived, and crowded with company.  Johnson.  ’Alas, Sir, these are all only struggles for happiness.  When I first entered Ranelagh, it gave an expansion and gay sensation to my mind, such as I never experienced any where else.  But, as Xerxes wept when he viewed his immense army, and considered that not one of that great multitude would be alive a hundred years afterwards, so it went to my heart to consider that there was not one in all that brilliant circle, that was not afraid to go home and think; but that the thoughts of each individual there, would be distressing when alone.’

I suggested, that being in love, and flattered with hopes of success; or having some favourite scheme in view for the next day, might prevent that wretchedness of which we had been talking.  Johnson.  ’Why, Sir, it may sometimes be so as you suppose; but my conclusion is in general but too true.’

While Johnson and I stood in calm conference by ourselves in Dr. Taylor’s garden, at a pretty late hour in a serene autumn night, looking up to the heavens, I directed the discourse to the subject of a future state.  My friend was in a placid and most benignant frame.  ’Sir, (said he,) I do not imagine that all things will be made clear to us immediately after death, but that the ways of Providence will be explained to us very gradually.’  He talked to me upon this aweful and delicate question in a gentle tone, and as if afraid to be decisive.