CHARIVARIA.

Prince Albert Joachim, it appears, did not take part in the attack on a French officer at the Hotel Adlon, but only gave the signal.  Always the little Hohenzollern!

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It seems that at the last moment Mr. C. B. Cochran broke off negotiations for the exclusive right to organise the Carpentier wedding.

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“Will Scotland go dry?” asks The Daily Express.  Not on purpose, we imagine.

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A new method of stopping an omnibus by a foot-lever has been patented.  This is much better than the old plan of shaking one’s umbrella at them.

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Mr. Lloyd George, we read, makes a study of handwriting.  The only objection that The Times has to this habit is that he positively refuses to notice the writing on the wall.

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It is rumoured that the Government will construct an experimental tunnel between England and the United States in order (1) to cement Anglo-American friendship, and (2) to ascertain if the Channel Tunnel is practicable.

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Dr. C.W.  Colby, head of the Department of History, has taken Sir AUCLAND Geddes’ place as Principal of McGill University.  The report that Sir Auckland will reciprocate by taking a place in history awaits confirmation.

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“It is quite usual nowadays,” a well-known auctioneer states, “for mill hands to keep a few orchids.”  We understand that by way of a counter-stroke a number of noblemen are threatening to go in for runner ducks.

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A Rotherham couple who have just celebrated their diamond wedding have never tasted medicine.  We ourselves have always maintained that the taste is an acquired one.

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A Greenland falcon has been shot in the Orkneys.  The view is widely taken that the wretched bird, which must have known it wasn’t in Greenland, brought the trouble on itself.

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An alleged anarchist arrested in Munich was identified as a poet and found Not Guilty—­not guilty, that is to say, of being an anarchist.

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With reference to the pending retirement of Mr. Robert Smillie from the Presidency of the Miners’ Federation, it appears that there is talk of arranging a farewell strike.

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The Berlin Vorwaerts states that ex-Emperor Carl has been discovered in Hungary under an assumed name.  The Hungarian authorities say that unless he is claimed within three days he will be sold to defray expenses.

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We understand that Mr. Justice darling’s weekly denial of the reports of his retirement will in future be issued on Tuesdays, instead of Wednesdays, as hitherto.

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When hit by a bullet a tiger roars until dead, says a weekly paper, but a tigress dies quietly.  Nervous people who suffer from headaches should therefore only shoot tigresses.