WHY I AM NOT EDITING “THE STINGER”

J.  Munniglut, Proprietor, to Peter Pitchin, Editor.

“STINGER” OFFICE, Monday, 9 A.M.

A man has called to ask “who wrote that article about Mr. Muskler.”  I told him to find out, and he says that is what he means to do.  He has consented to amuse himself with the exchanges while I ask you.  I don’t approve the article.

Peter Pitchin, Editor, to J. Munniglut, Proprietor.

13 LOFER STREET, Monday, 10 A.M.

Do you happen to remember how Dacier translates Difficile est proprie communia dicere?  I’ve made a note of it somewhere, but can’t find it.  If you remember please leave a memorandum of it on your table, and I’ll get it when I come down this afternoon.

P.S.—­Tell the man to go away; we can’t be bothered about that fellow
Muskler.

J.  Munniglut, Proprietor, to Peter Pitchin, Editor.

“STINGER” OFFICE, Monday, 11:30 A.M.

I can’t be impolite to a stranger, you know; I must tell him somebody wrote it.  He has finished the exchanges, and is drumming on the floor with the end of his stick; I fear the people in the shop below won’t like it.  Besides, the foreman says it disturbs the compositors in the next room.  Suppose you come down.

Peter Pitchin, Editor, to J. Munniglut, Proprietor.

13 LOFER STREET, Monday, 1 P.M.

I have found the note I made of that translation, but it is in French and I can’t make it out.  Try the man with the dictionary and the “Books of Dates.”  They ought to last him till it’s time to close the office.  I shall be down early to-morrow morning.

P.S.—­How big is he?  Suggest a civil suit for libel.

J.  Munniglut, Proprietor, to Peter Pitchin, Editor.

“STINGER” OFFICE, Monday, 3 P.M.

He looks larger than he was when he came in.  I’ve offered him the dictionary; he says he has read it before.  He is sitting on my table.  Come at once!

Peter Pitchin, Editor, to J. Munniglut, Proprietor.

13 LOFER STREET, Monday, 5 P.M.

I don’t think I shall.  I am doing an article for this week on “The Present Aspect of the Political Horizon.”  Expect me very early to-morrow.  You had better turn the man out and shut up the office.

Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper, to Peter Pitchin, Editor.

“STINGER” OFFICE, Tuesday, 8 A.M.

Mr. Munniglut has not arrived, but his friend, the large gentleman who was with him all day yesterday, is here again.  He seems very desirous of seeing you, and says he will wait.  Perhaps he is your cousin.  I thought I would tell you he was here, so that you might hasten down.

Ought I to allow dogs in the office?  The gentleman has a bull-dog.

Peter Pitchin, Editor, to Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper.