Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey.  The day of your arrival is already recorded.

The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say “I” and “me.”  “It will probably rain”—­that is dogmatic.  “I think it will rain”—­that is natural and modest.  Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne.  He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

  On fair foundations Theocrats unwise
  Rear superstructures that offend the skies. 
  “Behold,” they cry, “this pile so fair and tall! 
  Come dwell within it and be happy all.” 
  But they alone inhabit it, and find,
  Poor fools, ’tis but a prison for the mind.

If thou wilt not laugh at a rich man’s wit thou art an anarchist, and if thou take not his word thou shalt take nothing that he hath.  Make haste, therefore, to be civil to thy betters, and so prosper, for prosperity is the foundation of the state.

Death is not the end; there remains the litigation over the estate.

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

When Eve first saw her reflection in a pool, she sought Adam and accused him of infidelity.

“Why dost thou weep?”

“For the death of my wife.  Alas!  I shall
never again see her!”

“Thy wife will never again see thee, yet
she does not weep.”

What theology is to religion and jurisprudence to justice, etiquette is to civility.

“Who art thou that despite the piercing cold and thy robe’s raggedness seemest to enjoy thyself?”

“Naught else is enjoyable—­I am Contentment.”

“Ha! thine must be a magic shirt.  Off with it!  I shiver in my fine attire.”

“I have no shirt.  Pass on, Success.”

Ignorance when inevitable is excusable.  It may be harmless, even beneficial; but it is charming only to the unwise.  To affect a spurious ignorance is to disclose a genuine.

Because you will not take by theft what you can have by cheating, think not yours is the only conscience in the world.  Even he who permits you to cheat his neighbor will shrink from permitting you to cheat himself.

“God keep thee, stranger; what is thy name?”

“Wisdom.  And thine?”

“Knowledge.  How does it happen that we meet?”

“This is an intersection of our paths.”

“Will it ever be decreed that we travel always the same road?”

“We were well named if we knew.”

Nothing is more logical than persecution.  Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.

Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.

The philosopher’s profoundest conviction is that which he is most reluctant to express, lest he mislead.