I do not mean to say that, with these four qualities only, a man will make a successful merchant or farmer, or that a woman will become a good housekeeper or a skillful teacher.  But I do mean that in family relations these four qualities are worth more than intellectual attainments or any sort of manual skill.  It is really astonishing to see how much these four will cover.  We desire thrift—­what is thrift but self-control?  Tolerance—­what but sympathy—­the “put yourself in his place” feeling?  Courtesy—­what but unselfishness?

Let us, then, in the child’s early years concentrate upon sympathy, self-control, unselfishness, and industry.  You will doubtless remember Cabot’s summary of the four requirements of man[5]—­work, play, love, and worship.  Suppose we could write on the wall of every nursery in the land: 

     Sympathy } { Work
     Self-control } in { Play
     Unselfishness } { Love
     Industry } { Worship

Would not this writing on the wall be a fruitful reminder to the mothers?

The period of early childhood is the one in which the home may act with least interference as the child’s teacher.  Later, whether she will or no, the mother must share the work of training with the school, the church, and that indefinite influence we class vaguely as society.  During these few early years, then, the mother must use her opportunity well.  It will soon be gone.

How shall she teach such abstract virtues as sympathy, unselfishness, self-control?  Recognizing the fact that the little child acts merely as his instinct and feelings prompt, she must make all training at this stage of his life take the form of developing the instincts.  Probably the strongest of these at this time is imitation.  Consequently most of the teaching must take advantage of the imitative instinct.  The first care should be to surround the child with the qualities we desire him to possess.  The mother who scolds, gives way to temper, or is unwilling or unable to control her own emotions and acts can hope for little self-control in her child.  In the same way the father who kicks the dog or lashes his horse or is hard and cold in his dealings with his family may expect only that his child will begin life by imitating his undesirable qualities.  This necessary supervision of the child’s environment is a strong argument for direct oversight of little children by the mother.  It is often difficult even for her to keep an ideal example before the child; and if she leaves it to hired caretakers, they seldom realize its necessity or are willing to take the pains she would herself.  Especially is this true of the young and ignorant girls who are often seen in sole charge of little children.

This first step being merely passive education, it is not enough.  We must not only set an example; we must go farther and strive to get from the child acts or attitudes of mind based upon these examples.