Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 22, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 38 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 22, 1892.

Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 22, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 38 pages of information about Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 22, 1892.

Maria (coming out of Cottage, and speaking in an inaudible tone).  At last—­WILLIAM CORDER—­to make me his wife—­I know not why—­strange misgiving ’as come over me.

[Illustration:  “They catch one another’s wrists, and walk up and down together.”]

    [She is unfeelingly requested to speak up.

William Corder (whose villany is suggested at once by his wearing a heavy silver double watch-chain, with two coins appended, and no neck-tie—­enters left).  Yes, MARIA, as I have promised, I will take you to London, and make you my wife—­but first meet me in disguise to-night, and in secret, at the Red Barn.

[MARIA is understood to demur, but finally agrees to the rendezvous, and retires into the Cottage.  Old Mr. MARTIN comes out in a black frock-coat, and a white waistcoat—­he has no neck-tie either, but the omission, in his case, merely suggests a virtuous economy.  He feebly objects to MARIA being married in London, but admits that, “Perhaps he has no right to interfere with WILLIAM’s arrangements,” and goes indoors again.  WILLIAM retires, and the scene changes to a ’very small street, which is presently invaded by a very large Comic Countryman, called “TIM,” who is engaged to MARIA’s sister NANNY.

Tim.  They tell I, as how the streets o’ Lunnon be paved wi’ gold, and I be goin’ ’oop to make ma fortune, I be.

[NANNY comes in and bribes him to remain by the promise of “cold pudden with plenty of gravy.”  Comic business, during which every reference to “cold pudden” (and there are several) is received with roars of laughter.  WILLIAM CORDER, on the ingenious plea that he wishes to take some flowers up to London, borrows a spade and pickaxe from TIM, to whom it appears he owes ninepence, which he promises—­like the villain he is—­to repay “the very next time he sees him in Church."

William (going off with a flourish and a Shakspearian couplet). 
    My mind’s made up.  Hence all thoughts that are good! 
    Crimes once commenced, Must.  End in—­blood! [Act drop.

A Female Spect. They don’t seem in no ‘urry to come to th’ Gho-ast part, seemin’ly.

Her Swain. Ye wudn’t have ’em do th’ Gho-ast afoor th’ Murder, wud ye?

ACT II.—­The interior of the Red Barn.  WILLIAM discovered digging MARIA’s grave in his shirt-sleeves, and thereby revealing that his shirt-front is as false as his heart.  He announces that “Nothing can shake him, now, from his pre-determined purpose,” and that “the grave gapes for its coming victim."_
Enter MARIA, disguised in a brown bowler hat and a very tight suit of tweed “dittoes,” in which she looks very like the “Male Impersonator” at a Music-hall.  The Audience receive her with derision and the recommendation to go and get her hair cut.

Maria.  Here am I in disguise at the Red Barn.  And yet something seems to whisper to me that danger is near.  WILLIAM, where, where are you?

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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, October 22, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.