* * * * *

PITT, the younger, and FOX were both fond of port wine, and lost no opportunity of indulging in their favourite beverage.  Meeting at CROCKFORD’s one evening, PITT (being in straitened circumstances) proposed that they should play for a bottle of sherry.  “No,” said FOX, “if I must lose, I will lose in Claret!” and the rival Statesmen succumbed to intoxication.

* * * * *

WILBERFORCE, the well-known philanthropist, was accustomed to visit the prisons.  At Newgate one day he met a well-known forger, and asked him “What he was in for?” “For the same reason that you are out,” was the smart, but uncourteous reply.

* * * * *

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE ENGLISH POLICE.

(FREELY ADAPTED FROM THE IRISH RULES.)

[Illustration]

1.  Constables who are required to interfere in a street-row must have fourteen days’ notice before they can be expected on the spot of the disturbance.

2.  Policemen will parade the streets from 12 A.M. to 4 P.M., but will make themselves scarce in the event of meeting a party procession, or noticing the holding of a public demonstration.

3.  Hyde Park, Trafalgar Square, and all other fashionable trysting-places, shall be considered without the sphere of Police influence at times of political excitement.

4.  Constables shall not congregate on land set apart for workmen’s gatherings, except to organise strikes amongst themselves.

5.  The labours of the Police shall not commence before sunrise, or continue after sunset; and it will be left to the sagacity of the Public to guard their own property during the hours that the Constables are off duty.

6.  In the absence of the Civil Power, it will be considered contrary to professional etiquette for any respectable member of the criminal classes to carry on his unimpeded vocation.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE WHITE ELEPHANT.

PRESENT PROPRIETOR (loq.).  “SEE HERE, GOVERNOR!  HE’S A LIKELY-LOOKING ANIMAL,—­BUT I CAN’T MANAGE HIM!  IF YOU WON’T TAKE HIM, I MUST LET HIM GO!!”]

* * * * *

THE GREAT UNKNOWN.

    [The Rev. Dr. SMYTHE PALMER, of Trinity College, Dublin,
    has just compiled a Book of Extracts, entitled The Perfect
    Gentleman.]

A Gentleman must be liberal, not to say lavish, to servants, porters, gamekeepers, and others, or he is “no gent.”  At the same time the Perfect Gentleman is never extravagant.

He must not work.  At the same time he must not be an idler.

He is known by his scrupulous attention to the minutiae of personal appearance, while “despising all outside show.”

The Perfect Gentleman “never wilfully hurts anybody.”  No soldier, doctor, or schoolmaster can, therefore, ever be a P.G.