Altogether, Sir DRURIOLANUS OPERATICUS, with his successful Drury Lane Race-course, his Provincial Theatre, his Italian Opera, his Paper (not in the House, but his weekly one out of it), his Music-of-the-Future Hall, for which a temporary and limited licence has been granted, will—­in a general-dealer kind of way—­be having a good time of it till Pantomime Season slaps him on the back with a cheery “Here we are again!” and then he will have another and a better time.  No doubt of Sir Gus’s success, or in abbreviated proverbial Latin, “De Gus. non disputandum.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE HEIGHT OF EXCLUSIVENESS.

Miss Prunes. “AH, DOCTOR, THESE HIGH SCHOOLS ARE SADLY MIXED!  BUT, UNDER MY CARE, I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR LITTLE WARD WILL ASSOCIATE WITH DAUGHTERS OF GENTLEMEN ONLY!”

The Doctor. “THAT, MADAM, IS TO BE SELECT INDEED; SINCE I BELIEVE PALLAS ATHENE ALONE FULFILLED SUCH A CONDITION.”

(For pedigree of Pallas Athene vide Classical Dictionary—­Art.  “Minerva.")]

* * * * *

COLUMBUS.

[Illustration]

  COLUMBUS!  We read of him every day,
    In books, pamphlets, magazines, papers;
  Whilst Italy, Portugal, Spain, U.S.A.,
    Cut constant, consecutive capers.

  They started last month with reviews on the main;
    On the land with processions—­a quaint row. 
  Such the fetes, aptly called by the French “Fetes de Genes,”
    Fait accompli, good luck, ca nous gene trop!

  But never say die; now Huelva goes on,
    New York follows, steady and sober,
  And Chicago makes ready for more derned, dog gone
    Fetes to last till, at least, next October!

  COLUMBUS, your search for a sort of New Cut
    Was meant for the best, we don’t doubt it;
  No harm in discovering Continents, but
    You might have said nothing about it.

  Still, had you not found a location for clam,
    Canvas back, buckwheat cakes, we should sorter
  Have missed the acquaintance of ’cute Uncle SAM,
    And his fearless, free, fragile, fair daughter.

  COLUMBUS!  The newspapers never will drop
    This subject; we wish, as months roll on,
  Some common bacillus had put a full stop
    Long ago to Don CHRISTOBAL COLON!

* * * * *

“ANECDOTAGE.”

COMPANION PARAGRAPHS TO STORIES OF THE SAME KIND.

SIR WALTER SCOTT was never so well pleased as when meeting a brother author.  One day he passed by a gauger, who was so careless in his duties that the author of Waverley was able to smuggle into Edinburgh some whiskey that was supposed never to have paid duty.  On reaching Abbotsford, “the Wizard of the North” was informed that he had met one of the greatest poets of North Britain.  “So I suspected,” he replied.  “It must have been BURNS.”  Sir WALTER was right—­it was BURNS.