“They who knew every nook and cranny of the house searched it pretty thoroughly at the time,” he reminded me. “I have fine-combed it myself.”
“I am so sorry! I wanted you to find them. But the fact that you didn’t surely couldn’t make very much difference to you. One’s happiness doesn’t depend upon anything so problematical.”
He hesitated. “Aside from their value, which is by no means inconsiderable, I—well, they would have made certain things easier for me. I should then have been in a better position to do what I want to do.”
“Oh! You had some definite plan which hinged upon your finding them?”
He was silent for a space, as if considering within himself just how far he could admit me into his confidence.
“At first, it was a matter of family pride with me to clear up this mystery. Later—I wanted to have the Hynds jewels in my possession, that I might ask the woman I love to marry me.” His voice vibrated like a violin string.
I took the blow standing. I did not wince, though it had come unexpectedly. Of course I had known all along that there must be some lady whom he loved, a woman of that world to which he himself belonged. But I couldn’t for the life of me imagine how the finding or the not finding of the Hynds jewels could have any bearing upon the case. I couldn’t understand how any woman, any real woman, could let such a thing come between her and Nicholas Jelnik.
When we had walked a little farther: “Doesn’t she know you care for her?”
“Who knows what any woman knows or thinks? She may really care for another man.”
“There is another man?”
“There is always another man. Her feeling for me may be nothing but pure kindness, for she is kindness itself.”
“Still, I think you should tell her,” I said, with such a heavy heart!
He shook his head. “There are reasons why my faith might be questioned, my motives doubted; and I couldn’t bear that.”
“But if you are perfectly sure of your own feelings, if there is absolutely no doubt in your mind that you love her—”
“Love her? I never thought,” he said, “that any woman could mean so much to a man! I never dreamed that just one woman could be in herself all that a man needs to hold fast to! Love her? I have been all over the world and I have seen many women in many lands, but never any woman of them all, save that one, for me! It was a revelation to me, that I could care so much. Ah! I wish I could make it plain just how much I do care!”
I had not known until that moment how much the heart can bear of anguish and not break.
“I hope she loves you just as much in return, Mr. Jelnik. I hope with all my heart you will be happy, both of you.”
“I hope she does! I hope we shall!” he cried, with ardor. “Why, if I could be sure she cares for me, like that, if I could know that all other men counted as little with her as all other women count with me! But I am not sure. And I do not take it lightly, for my woman must be more to me than most women mean to most men. Well, it is on the knees of the gods.”