Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 220 pages of information about Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature.

Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 220 pages of information about Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature.

She had sent Maria down for Mel and me to come up-stairs with whatever occupied us, for she was convinced that she was failing fast, and knew we should regret it if we did not have the last of her.  As we had received the same message nearly every other day during the last three or four weeks, we did not feel extraordinarily alarmed, but composedly took our baskets and scissors, and trudged along after Maria.

“I am sure I ought to be glad that I’ve succeeded in training my nieces into such industrious habits,” said Aunt Pen, after a little while, looking at Mel; “but I should think that when a near relative approached the point of death, the fact might throw needle and thread into the background for a time.”  Then she paused for Maria to fan a little more breath into her.  “It’s different with Helen,” soon she said; “the white silk shawl she is netting for me may be needed at any moment to lay me out in.”

“Dear me, Aunt Pen!” cried Mel; “what a picture you’d be, laid out in a white net shawl!” For the doctor had told us to laugh at these whims all we might.

“Oh, you heartless girl!” said Aunt Pen.  “To think of pictures at such a time!” And she closed her eyes as if weary of the world.

“I never saw anybody who liked to revel in the ghastly the way you do, Aunt Pen.”

“Mel!” said Aunt Pen, with quite a show of color in her cheek; “I shall send you down stairs.”

“Do,” said Mel; “where I can cut out my gown in peace.”

“Cutting a gown at the bedside of the dying!  Are you cold-blooded, or are you insensible?”

“Aunt Pen,” said Mel, leaning on the point of her scissors, “you know very well that I have to make my own dresses or go without them.  And you have kept me running your idle errands, up and down two flights of stairs, to the doctor’s and the druggist’s, and goodness knows where and all, till I haven’t a thread of any thing that is fit to be seen.  You’ve been posturing this grand finale of yours, too, all the last three weeks, and it’s time you had it perfect now; and you must let me alone till I get my gown done.”

“It will do to wear at my funeral,” said Aunt Pen bitterly, as she concluded.

“No, it won’t,” said Mel, doggedly; “it’s red.”

“Red!” cried Aunt Pen, suddenly opening her eyes, and half raising on one hand.  “What in wonder have you bought a red dress for?  You are quite aware that I can’t bear the least intimation of the color.  My nerves are in such a state that a shred of red makes me—­”

“You won’t see it, you know,” said Mel in what did seem to me an unfeeling manner.

“No,” said Aunt Pen.  “Very true.  I sha’n’t see it.  But what,” added she presently snapping open her eyes, “considered as a mere piece of economy, you bought a red dress for when you are immediately going into black, passes common-sense to conjecture!  You had better send it down and have it dyed at once before you cut it, for the shrinkage will spoil it forever if you don’t.”

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Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.