“Well, I don’t think you can find it perfectly plain, unless you get Turkey-red.”

“What is Turkey-red?” I asked.

“Turkey-red is perfectly plain in calicoes,” she answered.

“Well, let me see some.”

“We haven’t any Turkey-red calico left,” she said, “but we have some very nice plain calicoes in other colors.”

“I don’t want any other color.  I want stuff to match this.”

“It’s hard to match cheap calico like that,” she said, and so I left her.

I next went into a store a few doors farther up Broadway.  When I entered I approached the “floor-walker,” and handing him my sample, said: 

“Have you any calico like this?”

“Yes, sir,” said he.  “Third counter to the right.”

I went to the third counter to the right, and showed my sample to the saleman in attendance there.  He looked at it on both sides.  Then he said: 

“We haven’t any of this.”

“That gentleman said you had,” said I.

“We had it, but we’re out of it now.  You’ll get that goods at an upholsterer’s.”

I went across the street to an upholsterer’s.

“Have you any stuff like this?’ I asked.

“No,” said the salesman.  “We haven’t.  Is it for furniture?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Then Turkey-red is what you want?”

“Is Turkey-red just like this?” I asked.

“No,” said he; “but it’s much better.”

“That makes no difference to me,” I replied.  “I want something just like this.”

“But they don’t use that for furniture,” he said.

“I should think people could use any thing they wanted for furniture,” I remarked, somewhat sharply.

“They can, but they don’t,” he said quite calmly.  “They don’t use red like that.  They use Turkey-red.”

I said no more, but left.  The next place I visited was a very large dry-goods store.  Of the first salesman I saw I inquired if they kept red calico like my sample.

“You’ll find that on the second story,” said he.

I went up-stairs.  There I asked a man: 

“Where will I find red calico?”

“In the far room to the left.  Right over there.”  And he pointed to a distant corner.

I walked through the crowds of purchasers and salespeople, and around the counters and tables filled with goods, to the far room to the left.  When I got there I asked for red calico.

“The second counter down this side,” said the man.

I went there and produced my sample.  “Calicoes down-stairs,” said the man.

“They told me they were up here,” I said.

“Not these plain goods.  You’ll find ’em down-stairs at the back of the store, over on that side.”

I went down-stairs to the back of the store.

“Where will I find red calico like this?” I asked.

“Next counter but one,” said the man addressed, walking with me in the direction pointed out.