The way things are goin now, it looks as if William the Twicer is gonna have a great future behind him:  Skinny sez the Klown Quince and his army reminds him very much of his (Skinny’s) brother who went out west and made twenty Indians run—­but the Indians couldn’t ketch him.  Believe you me derie, the Boches are running faster than the color in a 19 ct. pair of stockins.  They are hot footin it faster than the train that I left for camp on pulled out of Grand Central Station; and that pulled out so fast that when I tried to kiss you from the window when she started, I kissed a cow ten miles away.

Well Julie dere, I miss you much believe you me.  I’d rather see you just about now than a messenger with the news that piece has been sined; of course there’s a lot of nice girls hear amung the Red X Nurses and Y workers, but there’s so many officers and gold braids round that fellers like us dont get any more show than a dollar at a church fair.

[Illustration:  Speakin’ of William the Two-spot]

We’re up now to where we can hear the noise of the big 75’s as they pound the Boches from their trenches and have gotten so used to it that we can’t sleep without it.  Every once in a while we see the ambulances comin in, and a lot of the boys have to be watched to keep em from trying to beat it back into the trenches again.  We heard yesterday Julie, about a detachment who went over the top and the commanding officer told em not to go beyond a certain objective during the first half hour; when the half hour was up they wuz a half mile beyond the objective.  When the major of the battalion bawled out the company commander, he yelled back at him “H——­ if the Crown Prince’s men couldn’t stop ’em what chance had I to stop ’em?” That’s whats winning this hi’ ol’ scrap Julie—­we hit em first and apologise afterward.

Some of our boys was sayin to-day that they thought the war would soon be over, and when I ast Skinny about it, he allowed as how that meant fer single guys only; that the war would go on fer married men just the same.  Corporal Louie Heinlein sez that song “Here cums the bride is the greatest battle song of all” and Louie has had a lot of experience with “Janes.”  But with you and me Julie dere, that will be sumpin else again.

Yours till people keep their New Year’s resolutions until Valentines day,

Barney.

Dere Julie,

At last I have smelt the smoke of battel, and fer the third time since I joined the colors you don’t know how near you’ve been to cashing that 10 thou. insurance policy.  You would have cashed it fer sure this time, if it hadn’t been fer a despised cooty; never again will yours truly be hard on ’em.

I have one that I’m gonna retire on a penshun.  It wuz like this.  Our regiment wuz called upon to go into the front line trenches and while I was peepin over the top, one of them pesky “seam squirrels” commenced bitin the back of my neck.  I bent my head for’d to reach over on the back of my neck to pick him off, at one and the same time a sniper cut loose at me from a big tree just outside the line of Fritzies trenches; had my head been where it was before I started to get the cooty, it would have been fare-thee-well Barney, so I just put Mr. Lifesaver back, and, as before stated, I’m gonna put him on a penshun.