Today we saw a German prisoner for the first time.  He looked nearly human.  Written on his belt was “Gott mit Uns,” an English soldier who saw it said, “But I say Ol top We have the Americans with us.”  So you see they’re wise to us already.

Believe you me derie, if this war lasts six months longer, Gen. Pershing and his boys will make German the court language in the lower regions.

Skinny spent last night in the guard house.  In trying to get back in camp after taps he runs plum into a sentry who said “Halt, who goes there?” and Skinny told him “Oh never mind, I only have been here a week and you wouldn’t know me ennyhow.”  He told me today that he didn’t wanna be a kernel as there wuzn’t much chance fer advancement.  I think I told you Julie in one of my letters how stingy this bird Skinny is.  Last week we got a three day ferlow and beat it up to the big burg to see the sites.  Goin into one of the big hotels, I said to the clerk “What are your rates?” “Five shillings up to 10,” he said.  Skinny called me to one side an’ whispered “Ask him how much it will be up to half-past eight.”

Well, derie, we hear we’re soon goin on to France, and then fare-thee-well loafin.  We be busier than a paralized man with the cooties.  The only thing that’s lible to bother me is the language.  I don’t know whether I can speak it or not, I never tried it.

Yours until they have ham at a Jewish wedding,

Barney.

Dere Julie: 

Skinny and me has at last burgled our way into society.  You know derie, that what I know about the highbrow stuff would fill a book, and what Skinny don’t know would fill a library.

Believe you me derie, you needn’t get jelous for I would just as soon get chummy with a flivver as I would with this bunch of “Janes” who put us on exhibition, for that was exactly what we wuz in their eyes—­freeks on exhibition.

It happened like this:  Lady Blue Jeans Shoddy or some name like that was givin an afternoon funkshun (I’m quotin from the invite so I can’ tell you what it means derie) fer charity and a lot of our company was invited to come, admission free—­tickets fifty cents.  Anyhow it was a lecture by Lord Somebody for the benefit of Lord knows what; the nearest I could make out it was a spiel on “Do married men make the best husbands.”  I’d like to tell you how I enjoyed the talk—­but I don’t use that kind of language; anyhow I’ll lay a small peece of change that this bird knew less about what he was trying to talk about than you could drive into a turkey gobbler with a peggin’ awl.  I give in tho, that he was a brave cuss; anybody who stood up and shot “bull” like he did for two solid hours, must have been brave.  Everytime I looked at him I thought of that ol saw “Faint heart never kissed the chamber maid.”  When he finished everyone in the audience was “out” exceptin an ol maid who was trying to send him a love message by eye wireless.