CLEVELAND.  The funniest you ever heard of.  Such laughing as there will be!

ROSE.  Fifty pounds—­all in gold—­is more than I can stand.

CLEVELAND.  Then meet me in five minutes, by yonder tree.

ROSE.  I’ll slip on one of my mistress’s dresses, and in five minutes be ready—­but remember—­fifty pounds!

[Exit ROSE.

CLEVELAND. [Rubbing his hands.] The best of tricks.  Ha! ha! ha!

[Exit.

Enter METCALF and ELSWORTH.

ELSWORTH.  Ha, ha, ha!  Bravo, Metcalf! a good jest, sir.—­Bridget disguised as Rose—­ha! ha! ha!

METCALF.  It’s exquisitely funny, sir—­only I think you don’t quite understand it—­

ELSWORTH.  It’s you, Metcalf, that don’t understand it.  It’s nothing but a piece of military deviltry.  Why, my innocent sir, Armstrong’s confinement is only a sham—­it doesn’t mean anything—­Cleveland told me so himself—­he will be free to-night.  I shouldn’t wonder if they were drinking and carousing together now.  Bless you, Metcalf, it’s only one of Cleveland’s practical jokes.  But I must go and find Rose, and tell her all about it—­it will give her such a laugh.  How the Captain will stare when he finds it out, to be sure!

[Exit.

METCALF.  Well, wise one, if you insist upon having it in that way, why, do so—­I suppose Miss Rose can fight her battles without your help.  It was devilish lucky, though, I overheard that plan of theirs, or the Captain would have been victimized—­damnably—­ay, damnably—­if it be swearing—­and a capital crime at Fidlington School.  I wonder where Bridget is—­Bridget bona fide—­I mean—­a delicious girl,—­I love her—­I will conjugate her.  Nobody in the walks—­the marriage not over yet—­bless me!  I do believe that I am trembling like a refractory scholar with a prospective birching.  If it should fail—­but it won’t, it can’t—­Rose is a girl to carry anything through.

Re-enter MR. ELSWORTH.

ELSWORTH.  Where can Rose be, I wonder!  I can’t find her anywhere.  Everybody inquiring for her—­everybody laughing too about the jest upon Armstrong.  Ah, these military fellows are such practical jokers—­so full of deviltry, to be sure!  Who could have thought of such a trick?

METCALF.  No civilian, you may be sure, sir. [Aside, looking off.] Eh?  There they are.  The deed is done.  It’s all right, ha! ha! ha!  I’ll cut.  That Major has a sanguinary way of contemplating me that has blood in it—­blood! [Aloud.] I think I saw Rose in this direction, sir, with the Major; I dare say we can find her, if we go along.

ELSWORTH.  Come, sir, then.

[Exeunt.

Enter MAJOR CLEVELAND.

CLEVELAND.  It’s done, and they are fast married.  Aha, my lady, who now has the game?  Armstrong looked astounded, but, expecting some plan to aid him, he fell into the trap without asking a question.  Now, now, my course is clear!