It is very evident that our terms and usages do not have in such a home the place or meaning which one not familiar with the real life of Old Japan would suppose.  The father is an absolute ruler.  There is in Old Japan hardly any such thing as “parents,” for practically there is only one parent, as the woman counts for little.  The wife is honored if she becomes a mother, but if childless she is very probably neglected.  Our idea of fatherhood implies that the child has rights and that he should love as well as be loved.  Our customs excite not only the merriment but even the contempt of the old-school Japanese.  The kiss and the embrace, the linking of the child’s arm around its father’s neck, the address on letters “My dear Wife” or “My beloved Mother” seem to them like caricatures of propriety.  On the other hand, it is undoubtedly true that in reverence toward parents—­or at least toward one of the parents—­a Japanese child is apt to excel the one born even in a Christian home.

This so-called filial “piety” becomes in practice, however, a horrible outrage upon humanity and especially upon womanhood.  During centuries the despotic power of the father enabled him to put an end to the life of his child, whether boy or girl.

Under this abominable despotism there is no protection for the daughter, who is bound to sell her body, while youth or beauty last or perhaps for life, to help pay her father’s debts, to support an aged parent or even to gratify his mere caprice.  In hundreds of Japanese romances the daughter, who for the sake of her parents has sold herself to shame, is made the theme of the story and an object of praise.  In the minds of the people there may be indeed a feeling of pity that the girl has been obliged to give up her home life for the brothel, but no one ever thinks of questioning the right of the parent to make the sale of the girl’s body, any more than he would allow the daughter to rebel against it.  This idea still lingers and the institution remains,[22] although the system has received stunning blows from the teaching of Christian ethics, the preaching of a better gospel and the improvements in the law of the land.

The Marital Relation.

The Third Relation is that of husband and wife.  The meaning of these words, however, is not the same with the Japanese as with us.  In Confucius there is not only male and female, but also superior and inferior, master and servant.[23] Without any love-making or courtship by those most interested, a marriage between two young people is arranged by their parents through the medium of what is called a “go-between.”  The bride leaves her father’s house forever—­that is, when she is not to be subsequently divorced—­and entering into that of her husband must be subordinate not only to him but also to his parents, and must obey them as her own father and mother.  Having all her life under her father’s roof reverenced her superiors, she is expected to bring reverence to her new domicile, but not love.  She must always obey but never be jealous.  She must not be angry, no matter whom her husband may introduce into his household.  She must wait upon him at his meals and must walk behind him, but not with him.  When she dies her children go to her funeral, but not her husband.