friend of the Morton family lived.  The affair had gone too far.  The Judge sent for a neighboring minister, and the runaways were duly married.  So flagrant a breach of the paternal authority was not to be hastily forgiven....  As in the case of the other runaways, the youthful Mortons disappointed expectation, by becoming important householders and taking a prominent place in the social life of New York, where Washington Morton achieved some distinction at the bar.[277]

It is evident that in affairs of love, if not in numerous other phases of life, colonial women had much liberty and if the liberty were denied them, took affairs into their own hands, and generally attained their heart’s desire.

XII.  Matrimonial Advice

Through the letters of the day many hints have come down to us of what colonial men and women deemed important in matters of love and marriage.  Thus, we find Washington writing Nelly Custis, warning her to beware of how she played with the human heart—­especially her own.  Women wrote many similar warnings for the benefit of their friends or even for the benefit of themselves.  Jane Turrell early in the eighteenth century went so far as to write down a set of rules governing her own conduct in such affairs, and some of these have come down to us through her husband’s Memoir of her: 

     “I would admit the addresses of no person who is not descended of
     pious and credible parents.”

     “Who has not the character of a strict moralist, sober,
     temperate, just and honest.”

“Diligent in his business, and prudent in matters.  Of a sweet and agreeable temper; for if he be owner of all the former good qualifications, and fails here, my life will be still uncomfortable.”

Whether the first of these rules would have amounted to anything if she had suddenly been attracted by a man of whose ancestry she knew nothing, is doubtful; but the catalog of regulations shows at least that the girls of colonial days did some thinking for themselves on the subject of matrimony, and did not leave the matter to their elders to settle.

XIII.  Matrimonial Irregularities

There is one rather unpleasant phase of the marriage question of colonial days that we may not in justice omit, and that is the irregular marriage or union and the punishment for it and for the violation of the marriage vow.  No small amount of testimony from diaries and records has come down to us to prove that such irregularities existed throughout all the colonies.  Indeed, the evidence indicates that this form of crime was a constant source of irritation to both magistrates and clergy.