Doubtless the courtship among these early Quakers was brief and calm, but among the Moravians of the same colony it was so brief as to amount to none at all.  Hear Franklin’s description of the manner of choosing a wife in this curious sect:  “I inquir’d concerning the Moravian marriages, whether the report was true that they were by lot.  I was told that lots were us’d only in particular cases; that generally, when a young man found himself dispos’d to marry, he inform’d the elders of his class, who consulted the elder ladies that govern’d the young women.  As these elders of the different sexes were well acquainted with the temper and dipositions of the respective pupils, they could best judge what matches were suitable, and their judgments were generally acquiesc’d in; but, if, for example, it should happen that two or three young women were found to be equally proper for the young man, the lot was then recurred to.  I objected, if the matches are not made by the mutual choice of the parties, some of them may chance to be very unhappy.  ’And so they may,’ answer’d my informer, ’if you let the parties chuse for themselves.’"[274]

We have seen that the Dutch of New York did let them “chuse for themselves,” even while they were yet children.  The forming of the children into companies, and the custom of marrying within a particular company seemingly was an excellent plan; for it appears that as the years passed the children grew toward each other; they learned each other’s likes and dislikes; they had become true helpmates long before the wedding.  As Mrs. Grant observes:  “Love, undiminished by any rival passion, and cherished by innocence and candor, was here fixed by the power of early habit, and strengthened by similarity of education, tastes, and attachments.  Inconstancy, or even indifference among married couples, was unheard of, even where there happened to be a considerable disparity in point of intellect.  The extreme affection they bore to their mutual offspring was a bond that forever endeared them to each other.  Marriage in this colony was always early, very often happy.  When a man had a son, there was nothing to be expected with a daughter, but a well brought-up female slave, and the furniture of the best bedchamber...."[275]

IX.  Marriage in the South

In colonial Virginia and South Carolina weddings were seldom, if ever, performed by a magistrate; the public sentiment created by the Church of England demanded the offices of a clergyman.  Far more was made of a wedding in these Southern colonies than in New England, and after the return from the church, the guests often made the great mansion shake with their merry-making.  No aristocratic marriage would have been complete without dancing and hearty refreshments, and many a new match was made in celebrating a present one.