IN EXCELSIS.—­No better example of the methods employed by Vivisectionists could be given than was presented at the Church Congress last week, where in debate on this subject they were all engaged in cutting up one another.  The Bishop of EDINBURGH, denouncing the morality of the Bishop of MANCHESTER and of Bishop BARRY, was a rare sight.  His Lordship said that the morality of these two Bishops was “up in a balloon.”  Well, surely this is morality of the most elevated description.  These Bishops are not “in partibus,” but in nubibus.

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IN WATER COLOURS.—­The East London Waterworks Company had a very successful meeting the other day. Inter alia the Chairman said, that “the Waltham Well is a complete success.” Ergo let Well alone.  That from this source they still supplied “36 gallons per head.”  The heads must be uncommonly hard to stand all this water on the brain.  A dividend of eight per cent. is, after all, a very pleasant draught.

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“GREEN THE GUIDE.”

(A SKETCH ON A “ROYAL BLUE” CAR AT JERSEY.)

On the Car is, among others, an Elderly Gentleman, in a tall hat, with a quantity of wraps; a Stout Shopkeeper, with a stouter Wife; a Serious Commercial Traveller, and a couple of young “Shop-ladies”; a Morose Young Man, who has “got out of bed the wrong side” that morning, and another, who has begun his potations rather early, and is in the muzzily talkative mood.  The Car is one of a long string of similar vehicles, and is proceeding at a rapid rate along one of the winding roads.

The Muzzy Man.  Frivolous, am I?  Well, we came ’ere to be frivolous—­to a certain extent.  Am I out of the way in anything I’ve said?  Because I woke this morning with a dry month, and I don’t mind saying I’ve had a little drop o’ brandy since.

His Neighbour.  You might let people find out that for themselves, I should think!

The Muzzy M. No—­I like to be honest and straightforward, I do.  I don’t want to be out of the way, you understand.

The Shopkeeper’s Wife (to her Neighbour).  This is a pretty part of the road we’re on now—­but, lor! there’s nothing ’ere to come up to the Isle of Man.  Douglas, now—­that is a nice place, with all them Music Halls!  And the scenery—­why, I’m sure I felt sometimes as if I must stop, just to look at it!

The Muzzy Man.  I consider scenery we’re coming to most beautiful I’ve seen for—­for miles around. [He goes to sleep.

[Illustration:  “An elderly Gentleman, in a tall hat, with a quantity of wraps.”]

The Shopkeeper (to the Elderly G., who is shifting and turning about uneasily).  Lost anything, Sir?

The E.G. No—­thank you, no.  I was looking to see whether GREEN the Guide was on the car. (Shouts of laughter are heard from the car behind.) Ah, that’s GREEN the Guide!  I wish he’d come on our oar—­very amusing fellow, Sir—­capital company!