“Oh! but you’re the villyans,” he admonished them, and then addressed the captive maid in reassuring tones.

“You’re all right, Miss, now.  You’re no longer defenceless in this wicked city.  The arrum of the law is around you,” he cried, encircling her waist with that substantial member.  “You’re safe at last, come here to me out of that.”

“Oh! noble, noble man,” cried an emotional woman in the crowd.  “If all officers were like you!”

Heartened by these words the noble, noble man exerted the arm of the law and plucked the maiden out of the cab amid great excitement and applause.  But above the general murmur the shrill voice of the sharp youth rent the air: 

“Fathead,” he cried, “you’ve broke her neck.  Can’t you see how her head’s goin’ round and round?”

[Illustration:  THE CHANGELESS SMILE AND THE DROOPING PLUMES MADE THREE COMPLETE REVOLUTIONS AND NESTLED CONFIDINGLY UPON THE SHOULDER OF THE LAW.  Page 129.]

At this the emotional woman dropped to the sidewalk.  “Lady fainted here, officer,” cried a gentleman.  But the noble, noble officer had no time for faints, and the lady was obliged to revive with only the assistance of the cold stones and curiosity.

For the shrill voice had spoken truth.  Something had given away in Maudie’s mysterious anatomy; the fair head, the changeless smile and the drooping plumes made three complete revolutions and nestled confidingly upon the shoulder of the Law.

“Here, none o’ that,” yelled Patrolman McDonogh quite reversing his earlier diagnosis of the situation.  “None of your flim-flams, if you please.  You go quiet and paceable with this gentleman.  A little ride in the air is what you need.”

“That’s right, officer,” Sedyard interrupted.  “That’s how to talk to her.  I can’t do a thing with her.”

“Brute!” cried the emotional woman now happily restored.  “It’s officers like him that disgraces the force.”

Patrolman McDonogh turned to identify this blasphemer and Maudie’s head, deprived of its support, made another revolution and then dropped coyly to her left shoulder.  She looked so unspeakable in that attitude that the cabman felt called upon to offer a little professional advice: 

“She needs a checkrein,” he declared, “an’ she needs it bad,” a remark which so incensed Patrolman McDonogh that Sedyard decided to explain: 

“Just disperse those people, will you,” said he, “I want to talk to you.”

The sharp youth relieved the officer of law of his fair burden and posed her in a natural attitude of waiting beside the cab.  McDonogh cleared the sidewalk and hearkened to Sedyard’s tale.

“So you see,” said John in conclusion, “what I’m up against.  I really didn’t want the dummy when I bought it and you can bet I’m tired of it now.  What I wanted was the clothes, and I guess the thing for me to do is just to take them in the cab and leave the figure here.”