App. Oh, Sir, so long as you looks after him, never you mind about his education!

    [Exit infantless.

* * * * *

TO MAUD.

A PENITENT ROUNDEL.

  I called you MAUDE.  I only meant to tease,
    But somehow, ere I ended, came to laud
  Your charms in my poor verses.  So in these
          I called you MAUDE.

  “My name is MAUD.” 
      And I am overawed,
    Forgive the indiscretion if you please. 
  The spirit Truth, they tell me, is abroad,
    And since she sojourns still across the seas,
  I swear I knew the final e a fraud—­
    So that you suffered from no lack of e’s
          I called you MAUDE!

* * * * *

KNILL NISI BOIMUM.

[Illustration:  Lord Mayor Elect Knill and the Livery Goose.]

The good common sense of the Common Councilman and Liverymen of the City,—­Liverymen not to be led astray by any false lights,—­coupled with their truly English love of fairplay, prevailed, and the City Fathers on Goose Day were prevented from following in the goose-steps of that Uncommon Councilman who, bearing the honoured names of BEAUFOY (a fine old Norman-Baron title!) and of MOORE (shade of Sir THOMAS!), made so extraordinary a display of bigotry and ignorance as, it is to be hoped, is rare, and becoming rarer every day, among our worthy JOHN GILPINS of credit and renown East of the Griffin.

But in spite of this nonsensical hot-gospelling rant, Alderman and Sheriff STUART KNILL was elected Lord Mayor, while BEAUFOY MOORE was, so to speak, no MOORE, and, in fact, very much against his will and wish, was reduced to NIL.  WILLY-KNILLY he had to cave in. Mr. Punch congratulates the Lord Mayor Elect, but still more does he congratulate the City Fathers on rising above paltry sectarianism, so utterly unworthy of time, place, and persons, and for standing up, in true English fashion, for freedom of worship coupled with absolute Liberty of Conscience.

* * * * *

THE PRIDE OF THE EMPIRE.

[Illustration:  “A Warde with you.”]

[Illustration:  Stock Exchange Swell (Empire Period).]

At this moment there is really a very excellent extertainment at the Empire Theatre of Varieties, something, or rather many things of which the Management may, and should be proud.  A capital troupe of Bicyclists, a Spanish Dancer and singer—­whose gestures to the multitude are more intelligible than her language—­a graceful, serpentine dancer, and “a very peculiar American Comedian”—­all these are a part of the programme.  But the best item in this liberal bill of fare is Round the Town, a characteristic Ballet, in five tableaux.  The composers of this pleasing piece are Madame KATTI LANNER, and Mr. GEORGE EDWARDES.  As the lady