The Female Exc. That Church we went to on Sunday evening is very old.

Her Comp. Is it?  How do you know?

The F.E. Why, my dress was covered with bits of fluff out of the hassock!

Driver. The carved stone figure you see by the gate, is supposed to be a portrait of Julius Caesar’s Grandmother, and very like the old lady. (The Excursionists nearest him smile in a sickly way, to avoid hurting his feelings, as the car moves on—­to halt once more at Icart Point.) It is customary to alight here and go round the point, and I can assure you, Ladies and Gentlemen, the scenery is well worth your inspection and will give you a little idea of what the Island is.

Excursionists (taking advantage of the opportunity to discuss the situation).  I noticed it the minute I set eyes on him—­he never ought to have been sent out like this ...  He’s been to a wedding this morning, so I heard, and it’s upset him a little, that’s all ...  Upset him—­we’re lucky if he doesn’t upset us.  What a fidget you are!  I shan’t take you into Switzerland next year, if you’re like this...  If Switzerland’s full of a lot of drunken men, I don’t want to go...  Well, what had we better do about it?  Perhaps this gentleman would—­Oh, no, I couldn’t take the responsibility, really, not without knowing the way.  Well, we can’t walk back, that’s certain—­we must trust to luck, that’s all!  Pretty bit of the coast you get here ...  Oh, don’t talk about the scenery now, when, for all we know!—­&c., &c.

[The car starts again, and presently arrives at a winding and precipitous road leading down to Petit Bot Bay, where the Driver again rises with his back to the horses, and proceeds to address the Excursionists, as they sit paralysed with horror.

Driver.  Ladies and Gentlemen, at this point I shall explain the scenery. (The Timid Lady protests that she is content to leave the scenery unexplained.) Pardon me, this is a portion of the scenery—­(Here his eyes close and reopen with an effort)—­a portion of the scenery that can only be properly enjoyed coming out on one of these cars.  If you go out with ordinary drivers, they take you along the main roads, and you come away fancying you’ve seen the Island.  Now the advantage of coming along with me—­(His eyes close once more—­the Excursionists implore him to attend to his team.) You will thoroughly understand there is not the slightest cause to apprehend any danger.  I’ve driven this car fifteen years without least accident—­up to present.  So you can devote your whole attention to the scenery, without needing to keep an eye upon the Driver. (He points to the abyss.) That is the shortest way down—­on this occasion, however, I shall endeavour not to take it. (He whips up his horses, and accomplishes the descent at a brisk pace.) There, didn’t I tell you there wouldn’t be no accident?  Very well, then.  P’rhaps you’ll believe me another time!