[He keeps turning from time to time to address these
    instructive remarks to the passengers behind him.

The Timid Lady. I wish he wouldn’t talk so much, and look more where he is going—­we’re much too near the hedge!

Driver (standing up, and turning his back on the horses, as they trot on).  Ladies and Gentlemen, you will all thoroughly understand that the roads in this Island are narrow.  Consequently, you must look after the branches and briars yourselves.  I’ve enough to do to look after my ’orses, I assure you, and it looks bad to see ’ats and bonnets decorating the ’edges after the car has passed. (Some of the Excursionists look at one another uneasily.) The glass-’ouses you see in such quantities, are employed in the production of early grapes and tomators for the London Market.  This Island alone exports annually—­

    [Here the car rounds a corner rather sharply, and he sits
    down again.

The Mild Man (with a Mild Man’s thirst for information).  What are those buildings over there with the chimney?

    [Here he is conscious of being furtively prodded in the
    back—­but decides to take no notice.

Driver (rising as before).  Those buildings, Ladies and Gentlemen, are Chemical works for extracting iodine from seaweed.  The seaweed, after being dried, is then boiled, and from the ash—­

    [Here the Mild Man, who has been listening with much
    interest, is startled by receiving a folded piece of paper,
    which it passed up to him from behind.

The M.M. (to himself, as he reads the message).  “Keep the Driver quiet.  He is drunk.”  Good Gracious!  I never noticed—­and yet—­dear me, I hope they don’t expect me to interfere!

The Timid Lady (to the Driver).  For goodness sake never mind about iodine now—­sit down and attend to your driving, like a good man!

Driver.  You will thoroughly understand, my horses require no attention. (Sleepily.) No attention whatever.  I assure you I am perfectly competent to drive this car and give you information going along at the same time. (The car takes another corner rather abruptly.) Simply matter of habit. (Gravely.) Matter’f habit!

A Serious Exc. (in an undertone.) A very bad habit, I’m afraid.  It’s really time somebody else took the reins from him!

The M.M. (overhearing).  I’m afraid they mean me—­I wish now I’d never touched the reins at all!

Driver.  The Church we are now coming to, is St. Martin’s, built in the year eleven ’undred.

A Female Exc. (critically).  It has got an old-fashioned look about it, certainly.

A Male Exc. There’s nothing to see inside of these old churches.  I went in one the other day, and I was looking up at the rafters, and I saw a sort o’ picture there, and I said, “Ullo—­they’ve been advertising Pears’ Soap here, or something.”  But when I looked again, it was only an old fresco.  I was so little interested I walked out without tipping the Verger!