“Located man by mingling with longshoremen on the docks where he usually worked” could hardly be the entry of a woman visitor.  A man can also be very useful in court cases, to counteract the prejudice that sometimes exists in court rooms against the testimony of social workers who are women.  In the more subtle processes of winning the man’s confidence and helping him to regenerate his life and recover his home there is no preponderance of testimony in favor of the man visitor.  Sex lines vanish here; the good case worker, man or woman, volunteer or professional, is the person needed.

Sometimes the difficulty is not to deter the wife from prematurely taking her husband back but to induce her to relent when the proper time comes.

Martin Long was intemperate, his wife was high-tempered; her relatives advised her to leave him and he deserted, leaving the relatives to provide for her and the three children.  He was away two years; then, becoming homesick and wanting to re-establish his home if possible, he returned.  The wife caused his arrest when he was seeking an interview with her.  The probation officer in whose care he was released became convinced of his genuine sincerity and regret, but the wife, still on the advice of her relatives, refused to see him.  He persisted in his hope of a reconciliation and made extraordinary efforts during a winter of industrial depression, putting his pride in his pocket and taking laborer’s work, which he had never done before.  He finally got a good position and saved money enough to begin housekeeping.  The probation officer kept in touch with the wife, first persuading her to receive a letter from Mr. Long and answer it through the probation office.  He interested her in the details of her husband’s struggle, and finally, after a whole year of probation and with the help of her pastor, he induced her to return.  The probation officer kept in close touch with the family for some months and reports:  “Three years have elapsed since that time; the family is now in a nearby city where they are living harmoniously and in comfortable circumstances.”

A case worker who is remarkable for her success in the treatment of estranged couples, when asked how she did it answered laconically, “talks and talks and talks.”  A study of her case records, however, shows certain points that recur again and again in her treatment.

She encourages man and wife, separately, to talk out their grievances thoroughly and get everything out of their systems.  She then proceeds (with a lavish expenditure of time, as indicated in her phrase) to convince each that she is a friend, but an impartial friend.  She does not push for an immediate reconciliation, is much more likely to recommend a temporary separation until tempers cool down and the true facts appear.  She always advises strongly against “argument” and “casting up” the past, and tells the couple to come back to her if they want to discuss