My Dear Daughter:—­When I was a young girl, I well remember that my parents judged who were and who were not desirable and proper associates for their children, chiefly by reference to the parents and family of our young companions.  It was taken for granted that the children of good, honorable, Christian people, who strove to train their children to obedience and a conscientious life, would be suitable companions for us; and this criterion in nearly every instance proved to be a true one.  In only one instance, indeed, did it fail; and I well remember the shock it gave a whole circle of young people, when a young companion, the son of an eminent clergyman, was sent home on account of his language and conduct after one week’s visit among friends, when it had been expected by all that he would stay two or three months.

But in these days this criterion of family and parentage is insufficient; for, sad as it may seem, the children of really excellent parents are often so derelict in duty, so lacking in conscientiousness, so idle and aimless and frivolous that their companionship should be dreaded for susceptible young people especially for young girls.  One thing is very certain:  that in these days young people, when out of sight of their parents, often act and talk in a way which they certainly would not do in their parents’ presence.  And that is truly a distressing fear which often comes to the hearts of excellent and faithful parents, that the conduct of their children when out of their sight and restraint may be totally at variance with all they have been taught in regard to right and proper conduct.

Now all people, old or young, are influenced in conduct somewhat by their associates and friends; but young people especially are susceptible to the influence of example.  And it is a painful but well known fact that young people are much more easily and quickly influenced by bad example than by good.  One frivolous, vain, forward, pert young girl, coming for a season into association with a company of young people, may in a few short weeks make her impress on the manners and conversation of the whole of them.  Her slang expressions will be adopted; her loud manners and eccentricities of dress will be imitated; her frivolity and dislike for any of the serious duties of life will prove contagious.

For you, and for any young girl, I would consider dangerous and harmful intimate association with: 

1.  The young girl who, either from circumstances or natural disposition, does not compel herself, or is not compelled to do something—­to study her lessons and take some useful share in every-day duties.  “Nothing to do is worse than nothing to eat,” said a great man, Thomas Carlyle; and observing parents or teachers know this to be especially true of young people.  It makes no difference that they don’t want to do anything or to exert themselves.  The very absence of exertion makes them weak and indisposed