Directions and suggestions for aiding young people to become agreeable and pleasant conversers must necessarily be mainly negative.  Taken for granted that a young person possesses animation good sense, intelligence, and a genuine interest in her companions and the world around her; is observing, and can speak grammatically without hesitating; knows the difference between “you and I” and “you and me” (which I am sorry to say a great many young girls of my acquaintance do not, for I constantly hear them saying, “He brought you and I a bouquet,” or, “You and me are invited to tea this evening"), she can almost certainly be a pleasant and entertaining converser if she avoids certain things, as, for instance: 

1.  She must avoid talking about herself, her exploits, her acquirements, her entertainments, her beaux, etc.  Especially should she avoid seeking to make an impression by frequent mention of advantageous friends or circumstances.  The greatest observer and commentator upon manners that ever wrote was Mr. Emerson.  In one of his essays he says:  “You shall not enumerate your brilliant acquaintances, nor tell me by their titles what books you have read.  I am to infer that you keep good company by your good manners and better information; and to infer your reading from the wealth, and accuracy of your conversation.”

2.  She must avoid a loud tone of voice, and also avoid laughing too much and too easily.  To laugh aloud is a dangerous thing, unless all noise and harshness have been cultivated out of the voice, as ought to be done in every good school.  The culture of the voice is one of the most important elements in making a pleasant converser.  American girls and women are accused by cultivated foreigners of having loud, harsh, strident voices; and there is too much truth in the accusation.  Nor is there any excuse for unpleasant, harsh, rough, nasal tones of voice in these days when in every good school instruction is given in the management of the voice for reading and conversation.  The cause of harshness and loudness is often mere carelessness on the part of young people.  But talking in too loud a tone is scarcely less unpleasant to the listeners than the use of too low a tone, which is generally an affectation.

3.  She must avoid frequent attempts at wit; avoid punning, which is the cheapest possible form of wit; and avoid sarcasm.  The talent for being sarcastic is a most dangerous one.  ’No one ever knew a sarcastic woman who could keep friends.  The temptation to be bright and interesting and to attract attention by the use of sarcasm is very strong, for nearly all will be interested in it and enjoy it for a little.  But were I obliged to choose between sarcasm and dullness in a young girl, I should prefer dullness.  Happily, this is not a necessary alternative.