up to escape, with the jug on his head.  This terrible monster no sooner saluted the eyes of the sentry, than his frantic imagination converted poor pug into a blood-thirsty Spanish grenadier, with a tremendous cap on his head.  Full of this dreadful idea, he instantly fired his piece, roaring out that the enemy had scaled the walls.  The guards took the alarm; the drums were beat; signal-guns fired; and in less than ten minutes, the governor and his whole garrison were under arms.  The supposed grenadier, being very much incommoded by his cap, and almost blinded by the pease, was soon overtaken and seized; and by this capture, the tranquillity of the garrison was soon restored, without that slaughter and bloodshed which every man had prognosticated at the beginning of this dire alarm.

MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunning.—­The witty Lord Ross, having spent all his money in London, set out for Ireland, in order to recruit his purse.  On his way, he happened to meet with Sir Murrough O’Brien, driving for the capital in a handsome phaeton, with six prime dun-coloured horses.  “Sir Murrough,” exclaimed his lordship, “what a contrast there is betwixt you and me!  You are driving your duns before you, but my duns are driving me before them.”

Steele & Addison.—­A gentleman who was dining with another, praised the meat very much, and asked who was the butcher?  “His name is Addison.”—­“Addison!” echoed the guest, “pray is he any relation to the essayist?”—­“In all probability he is, for he is seldom without his steel (Steele) by his side.”

A Tedious Preacher.—­Mr. Canning was once asked by an English clergyman how he liked the sermon he had preached before him.  “Why, it was a short sermon,” quoth Canning.  “Oh yes,” said the preacher; “you know I avoid being tedious.”  “Ah, but,” replied Canning, “you were tedious.”

Charity sermon.—­Sydney Smith, preaching a charity sermon, frequently repeated the assertion that, of all nations, Englishmen were most distinguished for generosity and the love of their species.  The collection happened to be inferior to his expectations, and he said that he had evidently made a great mistake, for that his expression should have been, that they were distinguished for the love of their specie.

Pope the Poet.—­This celebrated poet is said to have been once severely retorted upon.  A question arose in company respecting the reading of a passage with or without a note of interrogation.  Pope rather arrogantly asked one gentleman if he knew what a note of interrogation was.  “Yes, sir:  it is a little crooked thing that asks questions.”  Pope was little and deformed.

Estimate of Greatness.—­Pope was with Sir Godfrey Kneller one day, when his nephew, a Guinea trader, came in.  “Nephew,” said Sir Godfrey, “you have the honour of seeing the two greatest men in the world.”—­“I don’t know how great you may be,” said the Guinea-man, “but I don’t like your looks:  I have often bought a man much better than both of you together, all muscles and bones, for ten guineas.”