Coleridge, among his other speculations, started a periodical, in prose and verse, entitled The Watchman, with the motto, “that all might know the truth, and that the truth might make us free.”  He watched in vain!  His incurable want of order and punctuality, and his philosophical theories, tired out his readers, and the work was discontinued after the ninth number.  Of the unsaleable nature of this publication, he himself relates an amusing illustration.  Happening one morning to rise at an earlier hour than usual, he observed his servant girl putting an extravagant quantity of paper into the grate in order to light the fire, and mildly checked her for her wastefulness:  “La! sir,” replied Nanny; “it’s only Watchmen.”

The Marquis of Granby having returned from the army in Germany, travelled with all possible expedition from the English port at which he landed to London, and finding on his arrival that the king was at Windsor, he proceeded there in his travelling-dress; where desiring to be instantly introduced to his majesty, a certain lord came forward, who said he hoped the noble marquis did not mean to go into the presence of his majesty in so improper a habit, adding, “’Pon my honour, my lord, you look more like a groom than a gentleman.”—­“Perhaps I may,” replied the marquis, “and I give you my word, if you do not introduce me to the king this instant, I will act like a groom, and curry you in a way you won’t like.”

The Schoolmaster Abroad.—­A young woman meeting her former fellow-servant, was asked how she liked her place.  “Very well.”—­“Then you have nothing to complain of?”—­“Nothing; only master and missis talk such very bad grammar, and don’t pronounce their H’s.”

A Soldier’s Wife.—­The late Duchess of York having desired her housekeeper to seek out for a new laundress, a decent-looking woman was recommended to the situation.  “But, (said the housekeeper) I am afraid that she will not suit your royal highness, as she is a soldier’s wife, and these people are generally loose characters.”  “What is that you say, said the duke, who had just entered the room.  A soldier’s wife!  Pray, madam, what is your mistress? If that is all her fault, I desire that the woman may be immediately engaged.”

SIGNS.

A Scotch Innkeeper, who had determined on adopting the sign of Flodden Well, was much puzzled for a suitable inscription.  At length he waited on Sir Walter Scott, and asked his aid, observing, that “as he had written so much about it in Marmion, he might know something that would do for an inscription.”  The poet immediately replied, “Why, man, I think ye cannot do better than take a verse from the poem itself.”  The innkeeper expressed his willingness to do this, when Sir Walter said to him, “Well, then, you have nothing to do, but just to leave out one letter from the line

    ‘Drink, weary traveller—­drink and pray;’