There was a rat, for want of stairs,
    Came down a rope—­to go to prayers.

Sheridan instantly dropped the rod, and, instead of a good whipping, gave him half-a-crown.

Dr. Busby.—­A scholar of Dr. Busby went into a parlour where the Doctor had laid down a fine bunch of grapes for his own eating, took it up, and said aloud, “I publish the banns between these grapes and my mouth; if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together, let him declare it.”  The Doctor, being in the next room, overheard all that was said, and going into the school, ordered the boy who had eaten his grapes to be horsed on another boy’s back; but, before he proceeded to the usual discipline, he cried out aloud, as the delinquent had done:  “I publish the banns between my rod and this boy’s back; if any one knows any just cause or impediment why these two should not be joined together, let him declare it.”—­“I forbid the banns.” said the boy—­“Why so?” said the Doctor.  “Because the parties are not agreed,” replied the boy.  This answer so pleased the Doctor, that he ordered the offender to be set free.

An Appropriate Version.—­The late Dr. Adam, Rector of the Grammar School, Edinburgh, was supposed by his scholars to exercise a strong partiality for such as were of patrician descent; and on one occasion was very smartly reminded of it by a boy of mean parentage, whom he was reprehending rather severely for his ignorance—­much more so than the boy thought he would have done, had he been the son of a right honourable, or even less.  “You dunce,” exclaimed the rector, “I don’t think you can even translate the motto of your own native place, of the gude town of Edinburgh.  What, sir, does ‘Nisi Dominus frustra,’ mean?” “It means, sir,” rejoined the boy, “that unless we are lords’ sons, it is in vain to come here.”

A Choice.—­At a recent examination at Marlborough House Grammar School, a piece written for the occasion, entitled “Satan’s Address to Nena Sahib,” was to have been recited by two pupils.  Only one of the pupils came forward, Mr. Barrett stating that he could not prevail upon any pupil to take the part of Nena Sahib, they having such an abhorrence to the character, though several had offered to take the part of the Devil.

SERVANTS.

Jonas Hanway having once advertised for a coachman, he had a great number of applicants.  One of them he approved of, and told him, if his character answered, he would take him on the terms agreed on:  “But,” said he, “my good fellow, as I am rather a particular man, it may be proper to inform you, that every evening, after the business of the stable is done, I expect you to come to my house for a quarter of an hour to attend family prayers.  To this I suppose you can have no objection.”—­“Why as to that, sir,” replied the fellow, “I doesn’t see much to say against it; but I hope you’ll consider it in my wages!”