Jeff never knew how it had come to happen to him, but now he never thought to go to see Melanctha Herbert, until he had before, asked her if she could be going to have time then to have him with her.  Then Melanctha would think a little, and then she would say to him, “Let me see Jeff, to-morrow, you was just saying to me.  I certainly am awful busy you know Jeff just now.  It certainly does seem to me this week Jeff, I can’t anyways fix it.  Sure I want to see you soon Jeff.  I certainly Jeff got to do a little more now, I been giving so much time, when I had no business, just to be with you when you asked me.  Now I guess Jeff, I certainly can’t see you no more this week Jeff, the way I got to do things.”  “All right Melanctha,” Jeff would answer and he would be very angry.  “I want to come only just certainly as you want me now Melanctha.”  “Now Jeff you know I certainly can’t be neglecting always to be with everybody just to see you.  You come see me next week Tuesday Jeff, you hear me.  I don’t think Jeff I certainly be so busy, Tuesday.”  Jeff Campbell would then go away and leave her, and he would be hurt and very angry, for it was hard for a man with a great pride in himself, like Jeff Campbell, to feel himself no better than a beggar.  And yet he always came as she said he should, on the day she had fixed for him, and always Jeff Campbell was not sure yet that he really understood what it was Melanctha wanted.  Always Melanctha said to him, yes she loved him, sure he knew that.  Always Melanctha said to him, she certainly did love him just the same as always, only sure he knew now she certainly did seem to be right busy with all she certainly now had to be doing.

Jeff never knew what Melanctha had to do now, that made her always be so busy, but Jeff Campbell never cared to ask Melanctha such a question.  Besides Jeff knew Melanctha Herbert would never, in such a matter, give him any kind of a real answer.  Jeff did not know whether it was that Melanctha did not know how to give a simple answer.  And then how could he, Jeff, know what was important to her.  Jeff Campbell always felt strongly in him, he had no right to interfere with Melanctha in any practical kind of a matter.  There they had always, never asked each other any kind of question.  There they had felt always in each other, not any right to take care of one another.  And Jeff Campbell now felt less than he had ever, any right to claim to know what Melanctha thought it right that she should do in any of her ways of living.  All Jeff felt a right in himself to question, was her loving.

Jeff learned every day now, more and more, how much it was that he could really suffer.  Sometimes it hurt so in him, when he was alone, it would force some slow tears from him.  But every day, now that Jeff Campbell, knew more how it could hurt him, he lost his feeling of deep awe that he once always had had for Melanctha’s feeling.  Suffering was not so much after all, thought Jeff Campbell, if even he could feel it so it hurt him.  It hurt him bad, just the way he knew he once had hurt Melanctha, and yet he too could have it and not make any kind of a loud holler with it.