“I would like,” said an American gentleman to a friend of mine travelling by railway, “I would like to show % you round our city, and I will call for you at the hotel.”
“Thank you,” replied my friend; “I have only to take a bath, and will be ready in half an hour.”
“Take a bath!” answered the American; “why, you ain’t sick, air you?”
There are not many commandments strictly adhered to in the United States; but had there ever existed a “Thou shalt not tub,” the implicit obedience rendered to it would have been delightful, but perhaps, in that case, every American would have been a Diogenes.
The Russell House at Sauk Rapids was presided over by Dr. Chase. According to his card, Dr. Chase conferred more benefactions upon the human race for the very smallest remuneration than any man living. His hotel was situated in the loveliest portion of Minnesota, commanding the magnificent rapids of the Mississippi; his board and lodging were of the choicest description; horses and buggies were free, gratis, and medical attendance was also uncharged for. Finally, the card intimated that, upon turning over, still more astonishing revelations would meet the eye of the reader. Prepared for some terrible instance of humane abnegation on the part of Dr. Chase, I proceeded to do, as directed, and, turning over the card, read, “Present of a $500 greenback"!!! The gift of the green back was attended with some little drawback, inasmuch as it was conditional upon paying to Dr. Chase the sum of $20,000 for the goodwill, etc.,