“That’s a pity,” replied Mr. Jorrocks, with one of his benevolent looks. “But ’ow comes it, James, you are not married? You are not a bouy now, and should be looking out for a home of your own.” “True, my dear J——, true,” replied Mr. Green; “and I’ll tell you wot, our principal book-keeper and I have made many calculations on the subject, and being a man of literature like yourself, he gave it as his opinion the last time we talked the matter over, that it would only be avoiding Silly and running into Crab-beds; which I presume means Quod or the Bench. Unless he can have a wife ‘made to order,’ he says he’ll never wed. Besides, the women are such a bothersome encroaching set. I declare I’m so pestered with them that I don’t know vich vay to turn. They are always tormenting of me. Only last week one sent me a specification of what she’d marry me for, and I declare her dress, alone, came to more than I have to find myself in clothes, ball-and concert-tickets, keep an ’oss, go to theatres, buy lozenges, letter-paper, and everything else with. There were bumbazeens, and challies, and merinos, and crape, and gauze, and dimity, and caps, bonnets, stockings, shoes, boots, rigids, stays, ringlets; and, would you believe it, she had the unspeakable audacity to include a bustle! It was the most monstrous specification and proposal I ever read, and I returned it by the twopenny post, axing her if she hadn’t forgotten to include a set of false teeth. Still, I confess, I’m tired of Tooley Street. I feel that I have a soul above hemp, and was intended for a brighter sphere; but vot can one do, cooped up at home without men of henergy for companions? No prospect of improvement either; for I left our old gentleman alarmingly well just now, pulling about the flax and tow, as though his dinner depended upon his exertions. I think if the women would let me alone, I might have some chance, but it worries a man of sensibility and refinement to have them always tormenting of one.—I’ve no objection to be led, but, dash my buttons, I von’t be driven.” “Certainly not,” replied Mr. Jorrocks, with great gravity, jingling the silver in his breeches-pocket. “It’s an old saying, James, and times proves it true, that you may take an ’oss to the water but you carn’t make him drink—and talking of ’osses, pray, how are you off in that line?” “Oh, werry well—uncommon, I may say—a thoroughbred, bang tail down to the hocks, by Phantom, out of Baron Munchausen’s dam—gave a hatful of money for him at Tatts’.—five fives—a deal of tin as times go. But he’s a perfect ’oss, I assure you—bright bay with four black legs, and never a white hair upon him. He’s touched in the vind, but that’s nothing—I’m not a fox-hunter, you know, Mr. Jorrocks; besides, I find the music he makes werry useful in the streets, as a warning to the old happle women to get out of the way. Pray, sir,” turning to the Yorkshireman with a jerk, “do you dance?”—as the boat band, consisting of a harp, a flute, a lute, a long horn, and a short horn, struck up a quadrille,—and, without waiting for a reply, our hero sidled past, and glided among the crowd that covered the deck.