’No, you must listen without touching me, I shall go back to the window.  I don’t want to influence you a bit by any personal magnetism I possess.  I want you to listen—­I have told you he divorced me, the co-respondent was an old friend, a friend of my childhood, of my girlhood.  He died just after the first application was made, luckily for me.  He would have considered my honour before my happiness. I did not defend the case, it wasn’t likely—­ah, if you knew all?  He proved his case; given clever counsel, willing witnesses to whom you make it worth while, and no defence, divorce is always attainable even in England.  But remember:  I figure as an adulteress in every English-speaking paper.  If you buy last week’s evening papers—­do you remember the day I was in town?’—­I nod—­’you will see a sketch of me in that day’s; someone, perhaps he, must have given it; it was from an old photograph.  I bought one at Victoria as I came out; it is funny (with an hysterical laugh) to buy a caricature of one’s own poor face at a news-stall.  Yet in spite of that I have felt glad.  The point for you is that I made no defence to the world, and (with a lifting of her head) I will make no apology, no explanation, no denial to you, now nor ever.  I am very desolate and your attention came very warm to me, but I don’t love you.  Perhaps I could learn to (with a rush of colour), for what you have said tonight, and it is because of that I tell you to weigh what this means.  Later, when your care for me will grow into habit, you may chafe at my past.  It is from that I would save you.’

I hold out my hands and she comes and puts them aside and takes me by the beard and turns up my face and scans it earnestly.  She must have been deceived a good deal.  I let her do as she pleases, it is the wisest way with women, and it is good to have her touch me in that way.  She seems satisfied.  She stands leaning against the arm of the chair and says—­

’I must learn first to think of myself as a free woman again, it almost seems wrong today to talk like this; can you understand that feeling?’

I nod assent.

‘Next time I must be sure, and you must be sure,’ she lays her fingers on my mouth as I am about to protest, ’S-sh!  You shall have a year to think.  If you repeat then what you have said today, I shall give you your answer.  You must not try to find me.  I have money.  If I am living, I will come here to you.  If I am dead, you will be told of it.  In the year between I shall look upon myself as belonging to you, and render an account if you wish of every hour.  You will not be influenced by me in any way, and you will be able to reason it out calmly.  If you think better of it, don’t come.’

I feel there would be no use trying to move her, I simply kiss her hands and say: 

‘As you will, dear woman, I shall be here.’