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Owing to the surveyor receiving increased powers the work of conscientious objectors on the roads in East Essex has improved.  Mr. OUTHWAITE, we hear, will ask in Parliament whether under these powers the surveyor has actually threatened to give one conscientious objector a good hard slap.

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We understand that Mexico has promised to stand by America on condition that if she takes this step on the side of law and order America will raise no objection to her having a revolution now and then just to keep her hand in.

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Allotment-holders in all parts of the country say that their gardens need rain very badly, and The Daily Mail is going to take the matter up.

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It was stated by a defendant at Wandsworth County Court that his house was haunted, the bell being rung several times without any visible human instrumentality.  The “Hidden Hand” again!

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To enjoy good health, says Dr. A. Fisher in an American journal, we should occasionally sleep for twelve hours on end.  We confess that we may be faddy in these things, but when sleeping we prefer the horizontal position.

***

“One hundred thousand tons of sugar is wasted each year,” says Mrs. Peel, “through being left in the bottom of the teacup.”  A correspondent points out that if that amount has ever been left in the bottom of his teacup it was an oversight.

***

The German people, says the Koelnische Zeitung, will not soon forget what they owe to their future Emperor.  The crown Prince, while thanking them for their kindly intention, privately expressed a wish that they would not keep rubbing it in.

***

According to The Express, every British theatrical star who plays in America is regarded as the best that England has ever sent out.  Until he has heard from Mr. Charles Chaplin, Sir Herbert tree is holding back his message, which reads, “That is so.”

***

A workman at a brewery last week fell into a large vat of beer.  It is given to few men thus to realise the dream of a lifetime.

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All vendors of comic postcards at Llanfairfeehan, North Wales, are to be asked by the Town Council to cover them up on Sundays.  We understand that comic postcards may be differentiated from others by the word “Comic” plainly printed on the card.

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The Daily Mail has just celebrated its twenty-first birthday, and the silence of the Poet laureate on the matter is being adversely commented upon.

***

The Anarchist, Lenin, says the Swedish Dagblad, has been missing for two days.  Even before that he never really seemed to make a hit.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  The bribe.