A divorce suit would not appeal so much to a jury if it was cleaned before it was pressed.

“What are you cutting out of the paper?”

“An item about a California man securing a divorce because his wife went through his pockets.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Put it in my pocket.”—­Everybody’s.

“Scotsman, married, desires change.”—­Weekly Paper.

We ought to warn him that the Divorce Court is very congested just now.

To matrimonial speedsters, divorce is just a detour.

DOCTORS

“What is your greatest wish, Doctor, now that you have successfully passed for your degree?”

YOUNG DOCTOR—­“To put ‘Dr.’ before my own name, and ‘Dr.’ after the name of other people.”—­Life.

“Who is your family doctor?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?  Don’t you know his name?”

“Yes.  Dr. Johnson used to be our family doctor but nowadays mother goes to an eye specialist; father to a stomach specialist; my sister goes to a throat specialist; my brother is in the care of a lung specialist, and I’m taking treatments from an osteopath.”

A young suburban doctor whose practice was not very great sat in his study reading away a lazy afternoon in early summer.  His man servant appeared at the door.

“Doctor, them boys is stealin’ your green peaches again.  Shall I chase them away?”

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment, then leveled his eyes at the servant.

“No,” he said.

Once an old darky visited a doctor and was given definite instructions as to what he should do.  Shaking his head he started to leave the office, when the doctor said: 

“Here, Rastus, you forgot to pay me.”

“Pay yo for what, boss?”

“For my advice,” replied the doctor.

“Naw, suh; naw, suh; I ain’t gwine take it,” and Rastus shuffled out.

M.D.—­“Would you have the price if I said you needed an operation?”

MANNING—­“Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn’t have the price?”—­Life.

“How do you pronounce ’pneumonia’?” asked the French boy, who had come to England to learn the language.

His only chum told him.

“That’s odd,” replied the young Gaul.  “It says in this story I am reading that the doctor pronounced it fatal.”

Mr. Roger W. Babson says that in looking up appendicitis cases he learned that in 17 per cent. of the operations for that disease the post-mortem examinations showed that the appendix was in perfect condition.

“The whole subject,” he adds, “reminds me of a true story I heard in London recently.  In the hospitals there, the ailment of the patient, when he is admitted, is denoted by certain letters, such as ‘T.  B.’ for tuberculosis.  An American doctor was examining these history slips when his curiosity was aroused by the number on which the letters ‘G.O.K.’ appeared.  He said to the physician who was showing him around: