COURAGE

The swain and his swainess had just encountered a bulldog that looked as if he might shake a mean lower jaw.

“Why, Percy,” she exclaimed as he started a strategic retreat.  “You always swore you would face death for me.”

“I would,” he flung back over his shoulder, “but that darn dog ain’t dead.”

“Who led the army in that recent expedition?”

“I did,” replied General Tamale.

“I thought the attack was led by General Concarne.”

“It was I who prevented great loss of life.  He led them going forward, but I led them coming back.”

A man of courage is also full of faith.—­Cicero.

Courage consists not in blindly overlooking danger, but in seeing it and conquering it.—­Richter.

Few persons have courage enough to appear as good as they really are.—­Hare.

Conscience in the soul is the root of all true courage.  If a man would be brave, let him learn to obey his conscience.—­Clarke.

COURTESY

“How do you like your new music-master?”

“He is a very nice, polite young man.  When I made a mistake yesterday he said:  ’Pray, mademoiselle, why do you take so much pains to improve upon Beethoven?’”

Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy.—­Emerson.

  How sweet and gracious, even in common speech,
  Is that fine sense which men call Courtesy! 
  Wholesome as air and genial as the light,
  Welcome in every clime as breaths of flowers—­
  It transmutes aliens into trusting friends,
  And gives its owner passport round the globe.

  —­J.T.  Fields.

COURTS

A couple of old codgers got into a quarrel and landed before the local magistrate.  The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried:  “I’ll law you to the Circuit Court.”

“I’m willin’,” said the other.

“An’ I’ll law you to the Supreme Court.”

“I’ll be thar.”

“An’ I’ll law to ’ell!”

“My attorney’ll be there,” was the calm reply.

In the course of his examination these questions were put to an old negro who was appearing as a witness: 

“What is your name?”

“Calhoun Clay, sah.”

“Can you sign your name?”

“Sah?”

“I ask if you can write your name?”

“Well, no, sah.  Ab nebber writes mah name.  Ah dictates it, sah.”

MAGISTRATE (to prisoner)—­“What is your name?”

PRISONER—­“S-s-sam S-s-sissons, S-s-sir.”

MAGISTRATE—­“Where do you live?”

PRISONER—­“S-s-seventy seven S-s-surrey street.  S-s-sir.”

MAGISTRATE (to policeman)—­“Officer, what is this man charged with?”